PHIGHTING ONESHOTS!

𖹭 | BANHAMMER X READER

note: I know it's been a whole ass year since I've updated this book, but here I am! Have Banhammer fluff, and cuddles!! :3

Requested by: cookie_Blaster

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You walked down the streets of Crossroads,  the sun blaring brightly as the sun set over the land. Like usual, you took the route to Banlands— if there was one anyway.

And by some miracle, you arrived at Banlands. The heat from the bubbling lava below immediately hitting you like a semi-truck. How does Banhammer even live in a place like this?

Upon arriving, you see Banhammer currently throwing a prisoner in their cell, the bang of metal followed by a small yelp from the prisoner before Banhammer locked the cage door. It was more like cages, really.

It seemed like he was busy with the prisoners, so you decided to surprise him by going up to him without him noticing. Was that a bad idea? Kind of, was it good? Maybe!

(You had chances anyway, either Banhammer pelts you into the sky with his hammer OR he might as well just sense you before you even arrive)

Taking your chance you sneak up behind him, your legs weaving around small rocks and whatever things you can trip on. Banhammer had finished tossing all prisoners into their cell with a huff, you then suddenly gripped his shoulders and hoped for the best.

" Boo! "

You then suddenly yelped as your feet were suddenly yanked off the ground and up close to Banhammer's face. From the outside, it really much looks like Banhammer wasn't looking at you, but he did underneath that blindfold of his.

" Hey!! There's m' favourite little hell-spawn! "

He spoke, his voice booming through the spacious land of Banlands, barely louder than the bubbling lava underneath the platform that was supporting the and preventing the both of them from boiling alive in the lava.

He spun you around multiple times and you swore you saw Illumina once he stopped, this big, hunky example of a man— or should I say man-baby?

Whatever, really. He just acts like a big dog excited to see its owner. Sometimes, you wonder if he was a dog in his previous life.. If that was a thing, of course.

" Yeah, yeah it's me. Happy to see my face? "

You ask sarcastically, half-expecting for him to hit you with a 'no' and laugh in your face because he was joking. But he just carried you like a sopping wet cat across a platform connecting to the main entrance into his small, personal home.

He only propped you down onto the couch and then sat with you (or should I say, on you. Heh. 👅 /j) before grabbing you like as if you were his plush before pulling you on him as he had shifted to lay on his back now.

" I missed ya, hell-spawn. Took a while for ya to get back home t' me, huh? "

He murmured, his voice gruff and slightly smug. You only rolled your eyes playfully and swatted him lightly on the shoulder beneath you.

" Stop calling me that. Can't you call me something else? Something more— friendlier? You say it like it's a slur. "

Banhammer cackled, his large hand coming up to rest on the small of your back as he held you with the other. It was a miracle how his couch was still standing from his big back.

"Friendlier? What, like ‘angel’? Nah, you’re my little hell-spawn, and that’s final,"

Banhammer teased, his deep laugh rumbling in his chest like a deep thunder. You groaned dramatically, your head flopping onto his chest.

"You're impossible, you know that? Completely impossible."

He grinned wide, his teeth flashing briefly in the dim, lava-lit room.

"Impossible, but lovable. That’s why ya keep comin' back, ain’t it?"

He mused with a smug grin, a hand coming up to ruffle your hair with a small laugh.

" Maybe I just enjoy the thrill of avoiding getting tossed into the lava,"

You shot back, lifting your head to smirk at him. Banhammer let out a barking laugh, his grip on you tightening briefly as if to prove a point.

"Please, if I wanted to toss ya in, you'd already be swimming. But nah, you’re too much fun to mess with. Gotta keep ya around."

You rolled your eyes again but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. It was hard to stay annoyed with him for long, even when he was being his usual over-the-top self.

"So,"

Banhammer started, his tone shifting slightly, though still retaining its playful edge.

"What brings ya back here? Missed me? Or got yourself into more trouble that I gotta bail ya out of?"

"I don’t always need bailing out, thank you very much,"

You shot back, sitting up slightly to meet his gaze—or at least where his gaze would be under that blindfold. You only snuck your hands up his body and squeezed (practically gripping those honkers) his chest, earning a girly yelp from Banhammer.

You only snickered at his reaction, and he lightly tugged on your horn as a playful warning with you wincing from the sudden, yet not so hard yank on your horn.

" Hey! Watch it, you might kill me. "

You warned, earning a small scoff from Banhammer and he only dropped his hand back to the small of your back with a grunt.

" Wasn't plannin' to, but fine. "

He relented before he only rested his chin on your head, his stubble scratching your scalp slightly as he nuzzled into you affectionately.

" Now rest those gorgeous eyes of yours, you're going to make me blind from just staring into those shiny orbs of yours. "

He joked. You only laughed and bumped your horns against his affectionately. (or if you don't have horns, you can just gently bump your head against his like a cat)

" I know, I know. Love you. "

" Love ya too. "

WORD COUNT: 998.

(Oh my god this was horrible. I took way too long on this and procrastinated..)