Once I got off the plane, I made my way towards the food court where Sharon said she would be.
Sharon is my mums first name. I'm not ready to call her mum yet but when I am she will know.
I see a women who looks very similar to the image of my mum that I still have. Just a little more wrinkles and different hair colour.
I approach her slowly, each step I take is giving me more anxiety.
"Robyn?" She asks her voice is still so beautiful. I nod.
She races over to me, she wraps her arms tight around me and sobs.
"Your so beautiful, my baby girl" She cups my cheek.
"I'm so sorry" She pulls me back for a hug.
I give her a slight hug back. She pulls away and looks at me with confusion.
"You don't understand I had to leave, please talk to me" She begs.
I don't know what to do or type. The room starts spinning I begin to see three mums. Then I blacked out.
*.*.*.*
I woke up in a car with my head aching. We pull into a drive way of a small house that looks warm and cosy.The driver gets out of the car and comes round to open my door for me. I sit up and try swing both legs out of the vehicle.
My mum holds me up and guides me through the door, down the hallway to a room. My limp body sits on the soft bed.
"Robyn, this is your room, my room is just across the hall of you need anything. I'll let you rest for now and I'll come back when it's dinner time" She grasps my hand.
As soon as my door is shut I fall straight back to sleep.
'Knock-Knock' sounds at my door. My eyes snap open. The door creeks open "Robyn dinners ready" My mum says sweetly.
I follow her out to the kitchen. The aroma of the roast chicken and vegetables is making my stomach growl.
I sit opposite mum at the table. I start shovelling the food into my mouth.
"I'm guessing your hungry" My mum laughs, I smile and nod.
"There's plenty more where that came from" She points to the practicality full roast chicken on the bench.
"Aren't you lucky the boys aren't round for dinner tonight" She takes a sip of her red wine. My eyebrows stitch together in confusion.
"Oh um Ashton, Michael, Calum and Luke they're like my other kids they come here a lot since they all live around here" She explains.
"They're around about your age maybe they could come over sometime and show you around?" Mum smiles.
"Okay" I speak quietly, my voice sounds so sad and dry. Mum smiles at me. She's trying to show me that she can be a good mother but all I need right now is somewhere safe, somewhere I can call home.
I didn't speak again for the rest of the night. Mum didn't understand why I didn't speak often to be honest I don't think anyone will.
"Robyn would you like to go and see a psychologist?" Mum asks as she placed her famous apple crumble in front of me.
I shrug my shoulders and shove the delicious crumble down, savouring every last sweet mouth full remembering when life was easy and good."Come on maybe it can help with your talking and how you fainted at the airport, please just try for me?" She encourages me. I agree because I know she won't drop it.
I place my plate in the dishwasher and head straight for my on suit. I sit over my toilet and throw all my lovely dinner up.
It's not that I didn't like it, it was the best meal I've had in a long time as a matter of fact.
I have developed a eating disorder and I can't keep food down. I've become very skinny and very weak ever since it started. At first it was hard but I've slowly gotten used to it.
I jump in the shower quickly rinsing off all my emotions for today and hop straight back out wrapping a nice soft towel around my weak fragile body.
I walk back into my room and see some boxers and t-shirt have been laid out for me.
I slip into my new pj's and jump back into my warm bed. "Good night Robyn, sweet dreams" Mum says as she turns my light off and shuts my door.
I stare at the ceiling, just thinking about what's wrong with me? How come no one gets me? How come the only one that understood me killed them selves?
As the tears slides down my cheeks I finally feel sort of okay. Well more okay than I have in the past year.
A/N
What do you think of Robyn? Should she be feeling like this? Let me know what you think and don't forget to vote ❤️ and follow me on Twitter @lovingluke1 Ilysm please spread the word about this fanfic xx