3 Days Later
Today is my first day of counselling. I'm really nervous, I've never been to a brand new councillor before epically not in a different country.
It will probably go how all my sessions go me not talking and they're just asking dumb questions I can't answer.
Maybe she will be better, maybe she can understand me? Who knows.
"I'll be waiting in the waiting room for you" Mum tells me. She's been really informative lately.
It's annoying but it's also cute. She's trying to prove to me that she can help me through this and that she's here for me.
Mum walks me to the front desk trying to hold in her tears. "Hi this is Robyn Anderson here to see Doctor Smith" Mum introduces.
"Okay, Robyn follow me and Ms Anderson you can fill out that form right there" She smiles revealing her big white teeth.
We walk down a long hall way and end up at a pale white door with a name on it.
I knock on the door before entering the room.
"Hi Robyn, I'm Doctor Smith but places call me Marry" She smiles and I nod at her.
"I've been informed that you don't talk much", I nod to reply.
"Right so I'm going to give you a whiteboard to write things down on" She gets up and walks over to her locked closet.
"Here you go my dear" She smiles softly as she hands me a whiteboard and pen.
"So how are you?" She asks.
'I'm fine'. I wrote
She takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes "You don't have to do that with me".
But I do.
"Next question.... Why did you move?" She looks at me like she's reading me like a book.
'The same reason I stopped talking'.
"Why did you stop talking?" She begins to write things down.
'Because..'
After that I didn't write anything more down. She just sat there asking personal questions that the only people who know the answers are Maia and I.
She changed the dosage in my depression pills. She thinks I don't need them to be this strong, but I want to be numb does no one understand?
Once the clock struck 2 I was straight out the door. I walked into the car and slammed the door.
Mum came racing out to see what happened. "Robyn what's wrong?" She asks as she sits on the drivers seat.
"Nothing" I say bluntly.
After that we sat in silence just watching the road in front of us.
We finally arrive home and I walk straight into my room and slam the door shut.
I'm sick of everything doesn't anyone understand that I don't want to be here I want to be with Maia my best friend.
I pick up my framed photo of us together laughing and hugging as the wind blew our hair in different directions.
It was taken 3 months before she died. I just hugged my picture and cried.
I just sat there on the carpet crying and hugging a picture of my dead best friend. Like I used to do every day.
*.*.*.*.*
"Robyn dinner" Mum startles me from my sleep. I'm in the exact same position still keeping the picture close to my heart.
I head down to the dinning room leaving my picture behind. "We have chicken pasta is that alright?" Mum asks as she dishes up two steaming hot bowls of wide, long pasta drenched in mouth watering carbonara sauce.
"Yum" I say, mum smiles.
"Can you please grab the drinks?" Mum asks sweetly. I quickly nod and head over to the cupboard, I pull out to glasses before filling them with juice and sitting down to taste my delicious meal.
By the end I'm scraping my bowl clean. It was so good I wish I could cook, I'm the worst cook in the world.
One times Maia and I tried to make a romantic dinner for her parents it was a disaster. I miss those times. When I knew what happiness felt like.
"Help me do the dishes and then we can watch some TV?" Mum motions for me to stand up.
I follow her into the kitchen and I pick up the tartan cloth to dry the soapy dishes.
"Now I have a surprise for you I made banoffee! Mum squeals. Banoffee was my favourite food when I was younger and I haven't had it since mum left.
"Yay" I beam and quickly race through the dishes. Mum said she would finish off the dishes while I go put my pyjamas on.
I scurry back to the couch as quickly as I can I sit down and start flicking through channels, 'Criminal Minds' comes on.
"Criminal minds? Ooh I love this show" Mum squeals as she passes me my banoffee.
I slide the silver spoon through the cream, banana, toffee and finally breaking through the biscuit.
I take one bite and all the memories Ce flowing back. The happy days where my life was perfect.
The days when I had a full family and all of my friends alive and well.
~
3 more episodes later I'm falling asleep so I crawl down the hall and into bed.
I don't want to go to therapy next week, I know it's a week away but they do come round fast.
It's just going to be the same session over and over again. I don't trust her enough to open up, I don't trust anyone enough to open up to. The only person I did trust was Maia.
Slowly sleep takes over my thoughts, I fall asleep okay for once in about a year. I'm not happy but I'm not unhappy I'm just okay and that's all I want to be for now.
A/N:
(Sorry this chapter is a bit of a filler. Please spread the word about this fanfic. It's going to get better soon. Vote and comment what you think. Love you all and thank you for taking the time to read.)
