#Wattys2015 The Ghost of James Fitzpatrick

Chapter 18

"Oh hey mom, hey dad...uh, the truth is, I'm not in my room studying for my SATs like I told you," Sarah said to absolutely no one, "I'm actually waiting for a ghost to appear."

Sarah looked up and around the room to be certain no one, including James had overheard her. She shoved her books off her lap and fell back onto her back.

"Wow, that's pathetic," she said, "a ghost crush."

Suddenly Sarah checked her watch and sat up in bed. She shut her books, ran to her closet and began pulling down her sweatpants. She stopped herself, took a look over her shoulder at the room to be sure she had no audience, and did a swift change into black pants and a sweater. She undid her sloppy braid and quickly brushed out her long hair, turning up her lip at the awkward waves left by her braid.

She ran out of her bedroom and down the stairs. She pulled on her boots and knit cap by the door and saw Josh playing outside.

"I'm late for church, Josh. Tell mom I'll be back at 6:30!"

"Ok, see ya," her brother carried on with his solo game of catch with himself. The ball went up, came down into Josh's glove. The ball went up, came down into Josh's glove.

"That is one sad game of baseball, little brother," Sarah said as she pulled on her coat.

"Tell Father Vincent I said hi," Josh yelled as his sister swung her leg over her bike and rolled out onto Lilac Street.

The ride to church was one of her favorites. It was a slight descent the entire 3 miles to St. Josephs. She could think of very little else but James and Principal Zwicki, and the thought of returning to school Monday morning was almost unbearable.

The secret she held was practically crippling, it was a jagged rock inside the soft tissue of her chest. She felt it with every breath and push of her pedals. Principal Zwicki, who had in the past 3 years filled her with a sense of typical student/principal anxiety, now filled her with nothing short of full blown fear. She was reminded within her safe, predictable life, that a person can so casually commit a sinful and permanent act upon another.

Intellectually, Sarah knew of man's inhumanity to man, but before her now stood nothing short of good and evil. Evil had been the victor, and to the victor go the spoils, which in this case had simply been life. Principal Zwicki got life, and James got lungs full of water and a devastated family.

How was she supposed to go on with her life knowing what she knew now? And Principal John Zwicki should certainly not be allowed to go on with his as such, but it seemed there was nothing she could do about it. It wasn't even her word against Zwicki's. It was her 'vapor crush from 1978's' word against a respected high school principal.

She wanted nothing in the world more than to be with James right now. She had not seen him in almost 2 days and it was agonizing. She couldn't help but wonder if he was feeling the same way. Did he miss her when he was gone the way she missed him?

Church would help calm her, help focus her. One of the teachings of Sarah's parents, with regards to God: He is speaking, just clean out your ears and listen.

Other than sitting on her bed and awaiting James' return, church is where she desired to be most. It was warm, dark and quiet and she felt closest to God in that familiar, neighborhood structure.

She would not confide in Father Vincent as she had done last week. Too much had happened and he would be tempted to have her committed. Sarah knew she just needed to clean out her ears and listen.

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