#Wattys2015 The Ghost of James Fitzpatrick

Chapter 21

When Sarah was twelve, her mother, for some inexplicable reason during a harmless and routine drive to the grocery store, had decided to explain to her how babies were made. Sarah still reminded her mother to this day, that thanks to her spur of the moment lecture, she now suffered from sex ed post-traumatic stress disorder. She had been genuinely stunned to discover the usage of those formerly benign body parts, and the next day back at school in 6th grade was like no other.

She imagined every teacher throughout the day as being naked and doing awful things to create their children. And worse yet, there was an actual couple teacher, Mr. & Mrs. Croom, she taught remedial math, and he was the 8th grade Biology teacher. Ugh! It had been a dreadful Monday. It was a new perspective on her world; her same world, just disturbingly upside down. The classic Rabbit Hole, and she had fallen into it once again this morning. Her school felt surreal.

It all looked different. The blue lockers, the shiny linoleum floors, those hallowed halls and administrative offices, home to Arden High's lethal principal.

How could everyone be so happy? How were we all so naïve? For goodness sake, what sorts of secrets do people carry with them.

Sarah saw Principal Zwicki coming toward her down the long, main hall. He did not know her by name, she was certain of that. The school was large, and he wasn't the type to come down to the student's level and associate. He carried a red folder in his hand and Sarah began to physically distance herself from his approach. She pulled far to the right and stopped, just like one would in a car for a passing ambulance.

She pressed herself against the wall of lockers, and though the main hall was filled with chattering students, she did not sense them. She just saw him. He glided past her, his head was up, and his dark blue eyes stared straight ahead. For the first time in three years she really looked at him. His jaw was tense and clean shaven to a shine. She noticed his muscular neck and the blonde hairs on the back of his hands. She noticed the smell of his aftershave in his wake, and it made her stomach turn.

"Do you want the rest of my Cheetos?" Lucy asked Sarah as they ate their lunch in the school quad seated across from one another. Sarah stared at her sandwich and didn't respond. "Oh, and there's a big, hairy spider in your hair," she continued, "and you're absolutely not listening to anything I'm saying, are you?"

Lucy threw her bag of Cheetos at Sarah, who turned to look at her friend, but said nothing. She picked up the bag, pulled one of the orange chips out and ate it.

Lucy stood up from the opposite side of the table and walked around. She shoved her way in between other friends to squeeze in next to Sarah.

"You need to tell me what's bothering you because if you don't than what's the point of having an awesome friend like yours truly?"

Sarah smiled back at her and leaned her head onto Lucy's shoulder for just a second.

"Just tired," said Sarah.

"No, that's not true," replied Lucy. "Just tired is when you complain about everyone and everything, and you're grumpy and frown all day. This is not 'just tired'.

Sarah bumped her shoulder into Lucy's.

Lucy continued, "I actually feel worried about you, Sarah, are your parents getting a divorce?"

Sarah raises an eyebrow at Lucy, "No."

"Did you get diagnosed with something horrible?"

"No,"

"Did Josh?"

Sarah shakes her head.

"Your mom? Your dad? Did you accidentally burn the church down with your altar serving candles? Did you hit an old lady with your bike? Did you cheat on your chemistry test? Do you wish you had cheated on your chemistry test? Did you fall in love with a prisoner at the penitentiary and he's being paroled soon and you're worried now that your dad will find out?"

Sarah has turned to Lucy and is just watching her ramble.

Did you flunk your pre-calc test? Are you on your period?"

"Are you through?" asked Sarah. Lucy quieted herself and smiled at Sarah.

"I'm worried. You're being weird lately, and you usually tell me everything," said Lucy.

Lucy stopped talking and looked down at her sandwich to let her friend gather her thoughts. She opened a little foil bag of mini chocolate chip cookies and pointed them towards Sarah.

Sarah smiled and dug her hand into the bag. She began nibbling on the cookies and looked up across the quad to see Principal Zwicki leaning against the cinder block wall with a sandwich. The new American Lit teacher, Miss Hanes, one year out of grad school in Pennsylvania, stood next to him. She pulled her long, brown hair from beneath the constraints of her coat collar and let it fall free around her shoulders.

Sarah watched Zwicki take a bite of his sandwich. He 'cut quite a figure' as her grandmother would say as he leaned against the wall. His blonde hair was sprayed in place and waved minimally in the afternoon breeze. He wore his glasses, but no one without a death wish would ever call him four eyes.

Sarah pictured Zwicki in her mind as a 17 year old with a younger, angelic face. She pictured the face that James described with the dead, expressionless eyes.

Suddenly, Zwicki threw his head back and laughed at whatever Miss Hanes confided to him, and Sarah felt her heart begin to race, a 'tap tap tap' that became a full on 'thump thump thump' as she watched further.

He took a bite of the sandwich in his hand, and Sarah watched as his mouth closed over the stack of lunchmeat and lettuce on wheat berry bread, and he was enjoying that bite. He relished it as he chewed, and it seemed to move in slow motion to Sarah.

She felt her face flush red with anger at the thought of John Zwicki's uninterrupted life, at his enjoyment of the little, unimportant things with which God had graced the animal. When Miss Hanes reached her hand over and touched the top of Zwicki's arm, the little red cauldron of whatever Sarah felt was boiling in her brain, spilled over onto the flame below and Sarah angrily wadded up her brown paper lunch bag.

She stood up from the table and looked down at a surprised Lucy who stopped chewing and looked up at her best friend.

"What?" said Lucy with a mouthful of cookies.

"Will you meet me at the library after school today? Arden Public, not the school one," asked Sarah, "I need to talk to you about something, and I think I'm going to need your help."

Lucy swallowed her food. "Well that's more like it," she said.