Not a Valentine's date

Chapter 8

Lydia is listening to Stiles mindfully.

"It's not like it was that big of a deal, you know? It might have seemed like it to those who didn't know, I guess. I just wish she wouldn't have done it in front of everyone. It would have hurt less."

It's almost dinner time and Stiles had taken a nap somewhere in the middle of the afternoon. Once he woke up, he gathered the courage and told Lydia what happened with Malia. Lydia has been trying to comment as little as she can, not wanting to give too much of her opinion away.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" she asks.

"I was embarrassed, I don't know..." Stiles bites his lower lip and tries to hide his face from Lydia but her hand finds his chin in a quick movement, making him face her. They are curled up on the couch not too close to one another, hiding underneath the blankets to get away from the cold.

"Why would you be ashamed of doing the right thing, Stiles? You're the one who always does the right thing..."

"What would you or everyone else have thought of me if I told you guys that I haven't been with Malia in over a month? That I was just with her to help her adapt, playing pretend, uh? I don't need your pity," he says sharply.

Lydia knows how selfless Stiles is and that it probably is both his greater virtue and weakness. Seeing him diminish himself because of that stupid werecoyote... Lydia sits straighter.

"You listen to me, Stiles. We care about you, all of us, and we would have supported you, no matter what. And if you say another word about that 'it's progress' nonsense, I swear to god I'm gonna smack you. Are we understood?" He nods, surprised at her frankness. "Her inability for most things, which I'm sure you're aware it's not really as bad as she put it, it's no excuse for what she did to you. She should know by now what's socially acceptable and what isn't, and you know she knows it. What she did, making out with that guy in front of everyone at the party and throw it in your face? She did it on purpose, conscious of what it would do to you. Don't you dare make excuses for her, Stiles. You're smarter than that."

He knows that Lydia is right. "I just... I couldn't stay with her like she wanted me to, I'm not that kind of guy, but I couldn't stay away either. And I'm not good at this. How could I be? She was my first. I had literally zero experience with relationships and stuff before she came along and it's not like I'm much better now. I don't know what I'm doing..." The last sentence comes out as a whisper.

Lydia's heart falters for the second time that afternoon. The first time was when Stiles told her he stopped hanging out with Malia and seeing her as his girlfriend when he started losing his patience over her lack of a filter and disinterest in most things human; there's only so much he could take. Also, of course, when the girl realized he didn't have feelings for her - or at least not the right feelings -, that maybe he might have real feelings for someone else. If Stiles was talking about Lydia when he said that, Lydia wouldn't know; he made sure to hide his emotions incredibly well. Lucky for her, Stiles couldn't hear her heartbeat when he told her that.

As he elaborated, Lydia found out that the problem was that Malia didn't accept his terms in the slightest, so Stiles felt guilty every time the girl went to him as his girlfriend and he had to turn her down because he couldn't do that, betray his feelings and his morals like that. It led to constant arguing and Stiles continuously trying to tell her they were not together anymore, not like she wanted to. Malia kept insisting that he was her mate; he was supposed to be there for her. He tried to explain that's not how it works for humans but she only kept pretending she wasn't listening. His guilt almost drove Stiles insane, yet again, mostly from the lack of sleep and stress.

He tried to make it up to her with knowledge, teaching and helping the girl the best he could to redeem himself. Stiles spent most of his nights awake with the werecoyote - who has a much bigger endurance than Stiles, being supernatural and all - over the last month, mostly helping her study and still giving her hints on how to live as a human. She certainly took advantage of it to drain him out as payback because he has barely been sleeping three hours a night, thus why he has been looking so tired, and Malia couldn't care less about him. That much was obvious when, at Liam's party last night, she started making out with some guy, and when asked about it she made a scene in front of everyone, Stiles included, saying that if Stiles doesn't know how to handle her, she'd find someone that does. Apparently it was not even her first time cheating on him. Stiles got out of the party as quickly as he could.

Lydia held his hand as he told her everything. He didn't cry this time. "It's just..." he continues, "we could have just parted ways and she could do whatever the hell she wanted to. The last time we had uh... You know," he scratches the back of his neck, flushed, "it was like two months ago and I think the last time I kissed her was over a month and a half, give or take. I don't even remember how it was. I don't get why she kept telling everyone I was her boyfriend when I really wasn't, not for a while anyway, so at least last night she didn't really cheat on me, but that doesn't make me feel any better either. I don't know..."

"Hey, she's not your responsibility. You came clean with her and told her how you felt. That's more than most of the guys I know would do, okay? Telling her you couldn't be her boyfriend anymore for the right reasons and still managing to try and stay friends and help her out... I think you did the right thing and that you knew exactly what you were doing, Stiles." Lydia offers him a reassuring smile that he returns, pursing his lips. "If that..." Lydia takes a deep breath. She wants to add a 'bitch' somewhere in there, but it's probably for the best that she doesn't. "Malia, if she can't see that, then it's her loss. And I'm so sorry that she put you through that. You deserve better." She pauses and has to restrain herself from squeezing his hand. "I'm... We're glad to have you back, nonetheless."

Stiles appreciates that Lydia didn't say anything bitter about Malia; he knows exactly what she meant to say and he's not there yet. "You guys were a little obvious about it, you know? The pack, I mean."

She feigns ignorance. No one in the pack was exactly thrilled with his choice for a first girlfriend, let alone the banshee. "What do you mean?"

"C'mon Lydia. There wasn't even one of you who'd want to know about how our relationship went or anything. None of you were very supportive..." He looks at her expectant, waiting for what she has to say about it. For someone who always has a reply ready, Lydia had been oddly quiet about his relationship with Malia ever since the beginning. But Stiles, of course, noticed the way the redhead looked at them, all the times she rolled her eyes at the couple. He just never figured what to do with that. The strawberry blonde has been a mystery to him his whole life.

Lydia doesn't say anything. When almost a minute goes by and Stiles raises an eyebrow at her, she clears her throat and speaks almost in a hum. "I don't really have an answer for that." Because she's biased, she should add.

He doesn't break the gaze. "Should I know why?" Both their faces are red and Stiles' stomach feels weird all of a sudden but he had to ask, nervous or not.

Lydia stutters. "I... I-" Her phone rings and she couldn't be more relieved that it did. What would she tell him? Picking up her phone, she sees that Melissa is calling. "Shit, I forgot. You need to talk to Melissa. She's been trying to get to you since this morning."

Stiles takes the phone from her hand and gets up from the couch. Before he walks away, however, he looks back at Lydia. "We're not done here." Turning around again, he heads for the kitchen to take the call, leaving an astounded Lydia behind.