His Submissive Dancer

Numb

LILY POV:

I have caught up in all my classes, I've been a good girl all two weeks, me and Liz have been hanging out and being inseparable, me and Alex's relationship has been stronger than ever.

But I feel numb. I don't know what going on with me but the past week I've been feeling numb. Or like I'm not good enough. Or like I'm not a good student. A failure in life.

I feel like a pain to everyone and I don't know how to stop this feeling.

I want it to en-

The class ends and everyone packs up around me. The professor handing back essay we did two nights ago. I get out of my trance and slowly pack up. I feel high. Everything seems like it's slowing down.

I get my paper handed but get asked to stay back so I do.

"Ms. Vasko, you seem really out of it today in class." Mrs. Dezeray says to me in a worried concern.

"I'm apoligize I haven't been myself for a bit but I'll be focused next class." I apologize for my disorderly behavior.

"Don't apologize. I just want to make sure you're okay." Mrs. Deseray explains to me.

I nod in response still seemingly out of it. She lets me go and tells me to get home safe.

I walk through the long hallway that connects the cafeteria with the communication center for students.

I see familiar faces and I smile or wave. Really glad that no one wants to start a small conversation with me.

I keep walking till I make it to the path outside. Everything seems more amplified too. I hear cars, buses, motorcycles more loudly. The engine making noise, the screech on the road. Than I hear voices more amplified too.

I see people talking, and some people yelling. Everything feels unreal.

I get into my car and sit there. I don't know how long I sat in my car. When I came out of my zone I realized it's 8:30 pm. It's dark outside since it's still winter. And my phone has been blowing up with calls and messages.

I decide to ignore my phone and get on the road. I've realized that there was no traffic on the highway which I was grateful for.

I got everything out of the car. Grabbed my keys from my tots bag and unlocked my apartment.

I opened the door and take off my shoes, place my tote bag down, and place my coat on the rack we have near the flower pot become the front door.

I walk towards the kitchen and put my tote bag and keys on the counter and look in the fridge for anything appetizing.

I end up picking nothing, and I go further into my apartment.

I hear no movement meaning Alex isn't here. Which is strange since it's Friday so he usually comes home at 7.

I open our bedroom and lay on our bed for a bit zoning out again.

I haven't notice since more time has gone by. By now the time is 9:57 pm and I don't know where Alex is or where I am technically.

I get up from the bed and into my shared walk in closet. Pick out some new satin pjs. Then I head to my bathroom, I close the door and start the shower. Water reaching a perfect hot temperature.

I hop into the shower immediately feeling my muscles relax. I put some shampoo into my hands and lather all of it, all over my head. Scratching and rubbing my scalp. Massaging my head trying to get all these thoughts out and away.

Than I get my loofa and put a bit of cherry body wash on it. I lather that all over my body feeling myself get rid of everything that's on my mind. I go on the shower and feel cleansed. All the dirt and thoughts going down the drain like the water.