Chapter 13: Morning Reflections

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The fresh wind hits Galadriel's face with a pleasant touch

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The fresh wind hits Galadriel's face with a pleasant touch. She can smell the perfumes of the prairie. She inhales deeply, then sighs, feeling all her muscles relaxing. The horse she is riding shakes his head, huffing and tossing his white mane. He is anxious to go into battle, like she is. She turns to the knight on her left, smiling. Halbrand, who is already looking at her with an enigmatic expression on his face, smiles back. Their Numenorean armors shine in the morning light as they are approached by Elendil.

"We are ready, Lady Galadriel. Queen Miriel will watch the attack from that hill on the left. We better move; the poor people of the Southlands are waiting for us".

Galadriel nods and urges the horse to trot, then to gallop. The wind slaps her face with violence, the adrenaline of the upcoming battle rising in her blood. She can feel the Numenorean knights galloping behind her with a deafening rumble. Her muscles are tense, ready to fight.

Then she feels it. An impetuous, rising emotion.

Everything seems to slow down; the noise of the horses lowers. She looks at Halbrand - his blue eyes sparkle, and she knows he is feeling the same. Only they exist in that time and space; only they understand each other; only they are connected, forming a unique entity; only they have the same desires, willings, and power...

Galadriel opened her eyes, her heart in her throat. Her whole body was shaking, and the pillow was covered with sweat. She looked at Nenya on her hand, but the ring palely reflected the dim light, inanimate. She sat on her bed, putting her feet on the ground, trying to use all her senses to wake up from the dream that still felt so real in her mind. She started to walk back and forth, sensing the soil under her naked feet and smelling the perfumes of the forest until the shadows of the past retreated in the corners of the room. She couldn't understand the reason for the dream - she hadn't thought about Halbrand for a long time.

Thanks to Adar, she admitted, smiling. She had had relatively serene months in the Elven Camp, and her encounters with Adar were soul-healing. She loved to talk about Middle-Earth, the forest and its creatures with him, even if she had the feeling his Elvish knowledge was deeper than he wanted to show. The scars of what happened in Eregion were always in their thoughts, and they talked about Sauron a lot, but only about the future, never about the past. There was a sort of tacit agreement between them: she had never dared to ask him about his time with Morgoth and his servant, as he had never asked her about Halbrand. She couldn't tell if it was out of respect for each other's wounds or fear of reminiscing about heartbreaking memories. These untold things seemed to attract them to each other even more, in a relationship like she had never had with anyone before.

They used to talk about Sauron as if he was just an enemy and not someone who meant so much to them in the past. That's why she was so surprised by that sudden, realistic dream. The thought of Halbrand and what he did made her inner self tremble with anger and disgust, but she had learned that she had to manage her impulsiveness. Galadriel's desire to destroy Sauron had led her far away from the right path in the past, and her wisdom had told her she had to stop, rest and reflect before taking further action.

She discovered it was far more difficult than she had thought, as she had fed her resentment for centuries, convincing herself it was just her fear for Middle-Earth.

Adar's calmness helped her a lot, and she was longing for the next meeting with him more than she could admit. He was so different from the Uruk who attacked Eregion, even if she couldn't tell what he really had become. He was healed externally and internally, but something in his eyes still remained an enigma to her. She had the feeling he was more ancient and wise than any other Elf she had ever met, especially when he gave her suggestions or advice about the problems she faced in the Elven camp.

Sometimes he remained silent and let her talk most of the time, listening to her as if it was the most important thing in the world. Other times his mind seemed far away, and she wondered if he now felt out of place in the small group of uruks that still honored him as a Father.

Galadriel frowned at the thought of the uruks. It was true that the Elven Rings allowed them to enter under their protective shield, proving they didn't have evil intentions inside them. But she still couldn't look at them without revulsion. Their corrupted and stinking bodies, and their horrible grimaces and guttural sounds were an aberration in the beauty of creation. Something created by the darkness for the darkness, that shouldn't exist. She fell for Adar when he was an Uruk, but it was a completely different thing, and she felt guilty for not being able to accept something that was so important to him. When she met him, she always avoided being seen by the orcs. Adar agreed, as he thought they were still too immature to understand his bond with Galadriel, but she suspected he also knew that the same thing could be said of her and her inability to understand his connection with them.

She moved to the window and looked at the rising sun above the river that flowed by the Elven camp. Calling it a "camp" was not accurate anymore, as the Elves had built a lot of new constructions thanks to Dwarfs' stones and material. Durin was dealing with many problems in Khazad-Dûm, but not enough to forget about his dear friend Elrond. The carpenters and smiths from Eregion were using all their knowledge to build bridges and buildings that would outshine the other realms in Middle-Earth. It was their way to demonstrate pride and honor after the fall, their way to show Sauron they weren't defeated.

After Gil-Galad had left to strengthen Lindon's defenses, all the Elves had asked Elrond to be their guide, and he had accepted with his usual humility, asking Galadriel, Cirdan and Arondir to support him in this new challenge. There was a lot to do and to organize, as surviving Elves from Eregion and from the surrounding areas were continuing to arrive in search of a safe place to live.

Galadriel let the warm sun rays gently touch her face for a few moments, closing her eyes and letting the last glimpses of the nightmare flow from her, then she donned her white dress with golden embellishments and left her room.

She had been wandering in search of Sauron for so long that waking up every day in the same, comfortable bed was still unusual to her, and she wondered if she would ever get used to it. She didn't even know if she actually wanted to. She knew that to fight and defeat Sauron she'd have to move again one day. Her attachment to Valinor and Lindon had caused her only suffering and painful longing, so she didn't want to become too attached to that place, although she had to admit it was a wonderful corner of Middle-Earth.

[To be continued]

Illustration by Nekroticism

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