Everything I Didn't Say

s e v e n t e e n

SEVENTEEN

"ISLA, WHAT'S GOING on?" Xavier knocked on my door. "Mom's just left for work and she won't tell me why you don't want to come out. So, what's wrong? Are you upset over something?"

I lifted my head from where I was huddled underneath my cave of my bedcovers. Gosh, didn't my brother take a hint? "No. Please just leave me alone Xavier!"

"If you don't tell me what the hell's going on, I'm coming in!" he threatened, keeping up with his persistent knocking.

I felt a rush of satisfaction when I knew that he couldn't come in even if he tried. I'd moved my chest of drawers in front of the door, effectively barricading it.

"Isla, are you ill?" Xavier called. "Do you want me to make you some soup or get you a cold flannel or a heating pad?"

"No! Xavier, please just-"

Xavier was muttering to himself, ignoring me. "Heating pad ... pad ..." and then it clicked into face in his slow mind. "Pad! Oh my god! Is it your time of the month?"

"Well spotted" I remarked sarcastically.

"Oh ... ugh ... oh ... okay, um ... are you sure you don't want anything? Do you ... need me to bring you some" he coughed awkwardly "supplies?"

I could sense how uncomfortable he was so I said "no, I'm good."

He heaved a sigh of relief and then tried badly to hide it. "Good - no I mean bad. I mean good that you've got your stuff sorted and ... uh, I'm gonna go downstairs now alright?"

"That would be great" I responded.

He didn't so much as walk as he did run downstairs - as if my monthly period was contagious or something. Boys, I thought to myself.

As I thought this, a wave of pain shot through my lower regions and I winced, twisting my position. Maybe if I stretched out like a log, the cramps would subside ...

Or maybe not ...

I clenched the bedsheets and thought of something to take my mind off my raging hormones.

The two weeks I'd scheduled had passed by without me finalizing a decision. I just couldn't. Link had agreed to forget everything that had happened and we'd made up (and also made out a couple of times during those weeks).

Then school broke up for the Christmas vacation. I gave Link his gift on the day school finished and he opened it then, so I could see his reaction. He loved his shirt and his sweets and gave me a big hug. It was almost as if there hadn't been any misunderstandings that past week, like nothing had gone wrong.

Everything was perfect.

You know, aside from the fact that I had my period today and I was dying a little inside.

Nothing I could do made it any better. I'd tried a relaxing bath, a nap, some breakfast but I didn't feel any better. Curse my feminism and the monthly calls from Mother Nature!

Suddenly from downstairs, I heard the front door opening and hushed voices from the hall. I didn't see it worth straining my ears for though, so I rolled over and stared at the photo frame balancing on my bedside table.

I'd recently switched the photo from one of our family at the beach when I was ten, to one taken last week on the last night of West Side Story. I was grinning from ear to ear, still in my costume, sweat shining on my brow. I had one arm around my brother, the other holding a bouquet of roses he'd brought me. Mom had taken the picture, smiling just as widely as us in front of the camera.