Everything I Didn't Say

t w o

TWO

SITTING IN THE dining room later on was one word: awkward.

Mom could be heard bustling about in the kitchen, leaving me, Xavier, Alicia and Jared to sit at the dining table and get acquainted. Jared and his mother were sitting across from my brother and me, making me incredibly uncomfortable.

"Your house is exquisite" Alicia suddenly commented.

Xavier and I simultaneously glanced around the room as if we'd forgotten what it looked like. The Kennedy's had taken a tour of the house before we decided to get settled for dinner.

I supposed our house was pretty nice, big and spacious with its own back sun porch.

"I notice these things, you see. I'm an interior designer" Alicia smiled at us both. "Art seems to run in our family. Jared wants to major in art when he goes to college next year" she beamed at her son.

The words 'college' and 'next year' hit me harder than I expected. It was like a knife to my stomach. Of course Jared would be going away, disappearing to college next year, it wasn't a secret he was a year older than me.

It was just ... weird is all.

"What college are you at Xavier?" Alicia wondered in curiosity.

My brother's cheeks instantly flamed. "Uh ... just the local one" he murmured, dropping his gaze to the table.

College was a touchy subject for him. He'd got kicked out of the original one he'd applied for in California in just a few months and was sent back home to Addison, in Chicago. Mom knows why he got expelled but I don't and no-one will tell me. Must have been pretty freaking bad.

Xavier immediately found a way to switch around the topic of conversation, steering well clear of himself. "What college are you thinking of applying to, Jared?" he questioned quickly.

Jared looked slightly taken aback but answered with a distant "I don't know really. Any that's big on art, I suppose."

"Don't be bashful Jared. He wants to go to Stanley School of the Arts in North Carolina" Alicia said, grinning proudly. I recognized the name; I was pretty interested in that college too.

Jared's ears turned a soft pink and he glanced away, stuffing his hands deep inside his jeans pockets.

"Are you in your senior year at Mayday High too, Isla?" Alicia enquired. We'd already established that Jared and I attended the same school. Sometimes it was easy to forget when we weren't in the same classes and I avoided making eye contact on corridors.

I shook my head. "No. I ... I'm a junior."

As soon as I'd finished talking, I looked to Jared again. It was almost as if I couldn't help myself. What was even more stupid about my staring was the fact that he was already looking at me, with narrowed eyebrows.

He'd definitely changed visibly and I don't know what astonished me more: the fact that he was different or that I hadn't noticed.

His caramel coloured hair was cut much shorter but I could see it still had the same floppy texture. I remembered picturing what it would feel like to touch, to run my fingers through it because once upon a time, he was actually mine.

His sapphire blue eyes observed me watchfully, like they used to study me two years ago. At least they stayed the same. I used to love his crystal, blue eyes - so clear you could practically sail away on them.

He'd grown even taller if that was possible, considering he had been about 5, 11 when we were still 'close', before I ruined everything that had made me happy.