Way Back Into Love (Back Again Series #2)

11

"Bakla ka! Bakit mo ginawa 'yon? Holding ng aking handsung? Nakaka-shook ka naman!"

Napatakip ako ng bibig ko matapos kong marinig ang sinabi ni Arvie. His tone, plus his choice of words. I don't want to assume things, but don't tell me...

"Oo, teh, kung ano man 'yang iniisip mo, ganoon nga akes...  I'm Arvs, by the way." Kinindatan niya ako.

Hindi ako makapaniwala. "True ba? Crush pa naman kita! I mean, type pa rin naman kita after knowing all of this... pero nakakagulat ka naman!"

"Sometimes people aren't what they seem." He shrugged.

"That's what Phoebe told me too," I whispered.

"Gaya-gaya talaga ang babaitang 'yon. Ugh, walang originality!" Napairap siya. "Anyway, tara nang kumain."

Nang araw na 'yon, hindi ako makapaniwala sa nalaman ko. Wala namang mali sa mga katulad niya. In fact, I admired them because they knew who they truly were. I truly admired them. It's just… a part of you will still be surprised.

Pero mas nakakagulat pala kapag nasanay ka sa isang bagay, tapos paggising mo… wala na ang nakasanayan mo. You'll be left wondering where and why things went wrong. And sometimes, all those questions remain unanswered.

Pero madalas, ikaw ang may kasalanan ng lahat ng 'yon.

"Happy legality, Joy!"

Tuwang-tuwa si Joy nang abutan siya ng iba't ibang klase ng alak bilang regalo. Napangiwi naman ako. Puro alak na naman! As someone na hindi pala-inom, I felt left out. Huli ko tuloy inabot ang regalo ko. It was a tulip hair clip. She loves those. Not a day goes by without her having hair clips in her hair.

"Joy to the world…" Phoebe sang instead of happy birthday. Napakatinis nang boses! Lumayo tuloy ako sa kanila at naupo sa isang tabi. They were busy preparing para sa inuman—bagay na ayaw ko.

I took my phone and stared at it. Noong isang araw pa ako hindi mine-message ni Benj. Anong petsa na! He has the nerve to ignore me, huh? After I saw him with another girl?

I feared being abandoned, so I thought about lowering my pride. I wanted to talk to him, but something held me back. Ego? I don't know. I wasn't sure.

Pero ang alam ko, ayaw ko talagang gawin. Mas matimbang ang 'huwag na lang' kesa sa kagustuhan kong kausapin siya. A part of me wanted to hold on, but a bigger part told me to let go.

Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was pride. O baka naman, pagod na lang talaga ako. Pagod umasa sa isang bagay na hindi ko naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan.

I gripped my phone tighter, staring at his name on my screen. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, debating whether to send a message.

But in the end, I locked my phone and shoved it into my pocket.

He could have messaged me first if he wanted to. If he cared, he wouldn't have left me waiting. If I mattered, I wouldn't be here, questioning everything.

I exhaled sharply and leaned back, closing my eyes. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe the distance was exactly what we needed. Maybe if I convinced myself hard enough, I would finally believe it.

Or maybe, deep down, I was just waiting—waiting for him to prove me wrong.

"Magkaaway ba kayo ni Benj?" tanong sa 'kin ni Phoebe nang lapitan niya ako. May hawak na rin siyang red cup. "You know what? We talk more often than you two do... lagi mo raw kasing 'di pinapansin."