stars upon my face

chapter32-is this the end of us

I watched James walk back inside the police station, my heart sinking a little. I knew he needed to talk to Emily, but I wasn’t ready to listen to whatever twisted words might come out of her mouth. I felt this urge to be alone, to sort through all of the chaos swirling in my head. So, I turned and walked away, my footsteps echoing against the pavement.

As I stepped out into the cool evening air, I felt a weight lift just a bit. I needed space—space to think about everything that had happened, and to figure out what I wanted. I didn’t want to stick around and witness whatever showdown was about to go down between James and Emily.

After a while, I found a quiet park nearby, a small patch of calm amongst the turmoil. I sat down on a bench and took a deep breath, trying to process it all. James had always cared about me, but how could I trust anything now? Emily’s words haunted me, echoing in my mind, twisting my self-worth into knots.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and considered texting James to let him know I was okay, but then I hesitated. I didn’t know what to say. What if I just muddled everything up even more? So, I stuck the phone back in my pocket and focused on the fading sunlight, letting it cast a warm glow over my thoughts.

Meanwhile, inside the station, James finished his confrontation with Emily, blood boiling in his veins from the anger he felt. After all the years of trying to understand her, of trying to help her, it had come down to this. The betrayal felt personal, and he stood there trying to shake off the frustration, feeling like he couldn’t breathe.

When he finally stepped back outside, he looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of me. But I was nowhere to be found. Panic flickered in his chest as he reached for his phone, dialed my number, and waited.

“Come on, Nora, pick up...” he muttered, his voice tense. But it went straight to voicemail. Frustrated, he cursed under his breath, feeling helpless.

He took a few steps back, leaning against the station's exterior as he racked his brain for where I could have gone. I’d said I needed to understand things, and he knew me well enough to realize that being alone helped me process. But being out there alone with everything that had happened didn’t sit right with him.

He thought about all the things Emily had said. How could she twist the truth like that? And why would she drag me into it?

He headed to his car, his heart heavy, wishing I’d just stayed so we could figure this out together. Deep down, he felt bad about how he’d handled Emily. She pushed his buttons, but striking her hadn’t been the answer.

After a few moments, he got in the car, turning the key in the ignition, determined to find me. He’d need to talk to me, not just about Emily but about everything—the shocks, the lies, and the walls that had been built between us. I was worth fighting for, and I hoped somewhere out there that I knew it too.

As he drove around the neighborhood, scanning for a sign of where I might be, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that this was a turning point, for him and for us. He just hoped I could understand that, and that somehow, I’d let him back in.I drove through the streets, my heart racing as I thought about where I could find Nora. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had to get to her, to make sure she was okay. My mind was spinning with the events of the day, and the things Emily had said replayed in my head like a broken record. I needed to see Nora, to hear her voice and know she was safe.

Pulling up to her apartment building, I made my way up the stairs, pounding my fist against her door. “Nora!” I called out, anxiety thrumming through me when there was no answer. I knocked again, but the door creaked open slightly, almost inviting me in. My gut twisted as I stepped over the threshold, apprehension washing over me.

The first thing I noticed was the silence. It was eerily quiet, and my heart sank as I scanned the room. That’s when I saw it—a note lying on the table, her handwriting unmistakable. I moved closer, my pulse quickening, and picked it up, desperation clawing at me.

**James,** it read. **All I ever wanted was to live my life the best I could, but everything seems to pull me under. It’s like I’m treading water and the waves just keep crashing down. Just like with Edgar; he was kind and caring at first, and then he turned into a monster.**

My breath hitched as I continued. **I’m tired of living this life filled with confusion and trauma. You were always there when I needed you, and I’m sorry if I’ve been a burden to you. But just know I won’t be one anymore.**

Panic surged within me as I reached the end of the note. “No, no, no…” I whispered, my heart pounding in my chest. She couldn’t mean it. This couldn’t be happening.

I immediately dialed her number, my fingers trembling. It rang and rang until I happened to notice the bathroom door slightly ajar. “Nora?” I called hesitantly as I moved closer, desperation clawing at my throat.

I heard the phone ring inside the bathroom, and dread washed over me. With every ounce of fear I had, I pushed the door open. That’s when I saw her.

Nora lay in the bathtub, surrounded by water that was now a horrifying shade of crimson, her wrist cut deeply. Time felt like it froze as I took a step closer, horror and disbelief gripping me.

“No… this can’t be how it ends,” I gasped, my voice breaking. “Is this really the end, Nora? Is this how you wanted it to end?”

I rushed to her side, panic and sorrow colliding in my chest. My mind raced, desperately seeking a solution even as the world crumbled around me. I grabbed her shoulders, shaking her gently, tears blurring my vision. “Please, don’t do this. You’re stronger than this. We can get through this together.”

But as I looked down at her pale face, I realized I needed to act fast. I grabbed her phone, frantically calling 911 with shaking hands, my heart pounding against my ribs like a caged animal. “Please, help! My girlfriend… she’s hurt! You need to get here now!”

I worked quickly to apply pressure to her wrist, hoping against hope that I could save her, that somehow I could hold on to her long enough for help to arrive. “Nora, stay with me. You’re not alone. I’m right here.”

Every second felt like an eternity, and as her breathing began to slow, the reality of the moment crashed over me like a wave of cold despair. This was not how it was supposed to be.

“I won’t let this be the end,” I said, my voice trembling. “You mean everything to me. Please, just hold on. Help is coming.”

But as her eyes fluttered closed, all I could think was that I had to be her anchor. I couldn't let go. I wouldn’t let go.