ด้วยรักตลอดไป (With Love, Forever)

Jackson

I took a deep breath and forced a smile, hoping it didn't look as strained as it felt.

"Hey, sweetheart."

Xinxin stared at me for a second, her grip tightening around her spoon. "Daddy."

Her voice was quiet, uncertain. That hesitation—it cut me deeper than I wanted to admit.

I crouched down beside her chair, resting a gentle hand on her back. "Did you have fun with Mr. Jyff?"

She glanced at Jeff, then nodded. "We sang karaoke."

I chuckled lightly. "You did, huh? Bet you out-sang him."

That got the tiniest smile out of her, but it didn't last long. She looked down at her plate, poking at her food.

"Are you okay, Xinxin?" I asked softly.

She didn't answer right away, just kept stirring her rice with her chopsticks. Finally, she mumbled, "Are you still mad?"

I stiffened slightly. "Mad?"

"At the big lady."

My heart clenched. So, she had seen more than I wanted her to.

I swallowed hard, smoothing my hand over her hair. "No, sweetheart. I'm not mad at you. And you don't have to worry about grown-up things, okay?"

She still didn't look fully convinced.

Mrs. Luo, who had been quietly watching, stepped in gently. "Xinxin, why don't you eat first? You need to grow strong, right?"

Xinxin nodded slowly and took a small bite. It wasn't much, but it was something.

I exhaled and straightened up, glancing at Jeff. "Can we talk?"

Jeff nodded, leading me to the balcony while Mrs. Luo and Xinxin stayed inside.

The second the glass door slid shut behind me, I let out a heavy sigh, pressing my palms against the railing. I could feel Jeff watching me, waiting.

"It didn't go well, did it?" he asked.

I let out a bitter laugh. "You could say that."

I turned to face him, running a hand through my hair. "She thinks she's changed, Jeff. That she's 'ready' to be a mother now. As if that erases everything. As if she can just... step in and claim Xinxin like she never left."

Jeff stayed quiet, letting me talk.

"She says she's not trying to take her away, but then why the lawyer? Why now?" My voice was raw, the exhaustion seeping into every word.

Jeff leaned against the railing, arms crossed. "What did you tell her?"

I huffed. "What could I say? That I don't trust her? That I don't think she deserves a chance? Because that's the truth." I looked down, my hands gripping the metal railing. "But then I look at Xinxin, and I wonder if I'm being selfish. If I'm holding onto my anger more than what's best for her."

Jeff didn't respond right away. I could feel his eyes on me, weighing my words.

I sighed, pressing my fingers to my temple. "I don't know what to do, Jeff. I don't know what the right thing is. I just—" My voice cracked slightly.

Jeff stepped closer. "Hey."

I inhaled sharply, trying to hold it together, but my chest felt tight, my vision blurring slightly.

I hadn't let myself break. Not in front of Xinxin. Not in front of anyone. But standing here, away from her little eyes, away from the world—I felt it slipping.

"I don't want to lose her, Jeff." My voice was barely above a whisper. "I can't."

Jeff exhaled, then placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "You won't."

I swallowed, closing my eyes briefly.

"But what if I do?"

For the first time in years, I let myself admit the fear that had been gnawing at me.