ด้วยรักตลอดไป (With Love, Forever)

Jackson

The drive home was quiet, the kind of silence that only settled in when you'd spent a long day trying to hold everything together. I glanced at Xinxin in the rearview mirror, her small face pressed against the window, watching the passing lights of the city. Her brow was furrowed, and even though she was tired, I could tell something was still weighing on her.

"You okay, sweetheart?" I asked, keeping my tone gentle.

She didn't immediately respond, but I saw her small shoulders shift as she let out a soft sigh. "Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I see the big lady again?"

The question hung in the air between us, heavy and uncertain. My heart tightened at the way she said it—"the big lady." She was only trying to make sense of everything that had been happening, but the confusion was clear in her voice.

I let out a breath, keeping my eyes on the road. "It's okay, Xinxin. You don't have to worry about her right now."

Her fingers tightened around her stuffed bunny, the one she carried everywhere. "But... what if she wants to take me away?"

I felt that sharp pang again, deep in my chest. God, how could I make her understand this? How could I make her feel safe?

"No one is going to take you away, I promise." My voice was firm, more for myself than for her. "You're my daughter, and no matter what happens, I'm always going to be here. No one can change that."

Xinxin's voice was soft, almost a whisper. "But I heard you say she is my mummy earlier.. And you're my daddy."

I winced. She didn't even fully understand it, but she felt it—the shift in her world, the disruption that came with the idea of her mother suddenly showing up after all this time.

"I know, baby. I know it's confusing. But what matters is that you're with me now, and I'm not going anywhere." I glanced back at her, my reflection meeting her wide eyes. "You don't have to worry about her. You've got me, and I'm going to make sure you're always safe."

She seemed to consider that, her small face softening a little. She didn't say anything else, but I saw her shoulders relax. The tension wasn't completely gone, but it was a start.

We continued driving, the soft hum of the engine filling the car as we passed familiar streets. The world outside felt like it was spinning fast, but in here, in this little space between us, things felt just a little calmer.

When we finally pulled up to our apartment building, I parked the car and turned to her. "We're home."

Xinxin unbuckled her seatbelt slowly, her eyes a little distant. She was still lost in her thoughts, still caught in the confusion of it all.

I reached over and gently touched her arm, bringing her attention back to me. "Remember what I said, okay? You're safe here. You're with me."

She nodded, though there was still a hint of uncertainty in her gaze. "Okay, Daddy."

I smiled, though I could feel that knot in my own chest. There was no easy way to explain it all to her, no perfect answer that would make the fear go away completely. But I'd keep telling her she was safe. I'd keep reminding her that no matter what happened, I'd be there to protect her.

Because that's all I could give her right now.

We got out of the car, and as we walked inside, I felt her tiny hand slip into mine again, like it always did. And even though everything felt fragile, even though I knew there was still so much ahead of us, I was determined to make sure she felt as whole as I could make her.

I wasn't going to let her be scared. Not if I could help it.

The morning light filtered softly through the blinds, casting a warm glow on the room. I glanced over at Xinxin, who was still curled up in bed, her stuffed bunny clutched tightly in her arms. The usual rush to get ready for school—getting dressed, packing her bag, brushing hair—felt like it could wait today.

I paused for a moment, considering. The idea came to me like a breath of fresh air, and suddenly, it felt right.

I stood up quietly, trying not to disturb her, and grabbed my phone. A quick text to the school secretary, and then...

No school for today.

I turned back to Xinxin, who had started to stir as she heard the soft rustling. Her big eyes blinked up at me.

"Daddy?" she murmured sleepily.

I leaned down, brushing her hair back. "Hey, kiddo. How about we take the day off today? Just you and me."

Her eyes lit up immediately, the excitement almost instantly chasing away any remnants of sleep. "Really? We can do anything?"

I grinned. "Anything you want."

She sat up in bed, her bunny still tucked under her arm. "Can we go to the zoo?"

I laughed. "Of course. The zoo it is."

We got ready at our own pace, no stress, no rushing. Xinxin picked out her favorite pink dress and insisted on wearing her sparkly shoes—because "sparkles make everything better," as she put it. I grabbed my usual jeans and T-shirt, knowing today was about being comfortable, not putting on a front.

We hopped into the car, Xinxin in the passenger seat, her little legs swinging back and forth as she hummed to herself. I couldn't help but smile as I drove, the weight of everything that had been hanging over us—the custody mess, the questions, the uncertainty—seemed to lift, if only for a little while.

At the zoo, we ran straight for the elephants, Xinxin's absolute favorite. She was practically bouncing on her toes, her little voice echoing with excitement as she pointed out all the animals she recognized. "Look, Daddy! There's the giraffe! It's so tall!"

I chuckled, following her as she ran ahead. For once, there were no conversations about lawyers or custody hearings or anything that made her frown. It was just her, me, and the animals—bright, noisy, and full of life.

We spent hours wandering from exhibit to exhibit, Xinxin trying to guess the animals' names and making up stories about them. At the tiger enclosure, she insisted the tiger's name was "Milo," and I played along, telling her that Milo looked like he could use a snack.

When we got to the penguins, Xinxin's face lit up, and I couldn't resist her infectious grin as she shouted, "Look, Daddy! They waddle just like me!" She proceeded to mimic their waddle, and I couldn't help but laugh along, even though I knew I must've looked ridiculous too.

We took a break for ice cream, sitting on a bench in the sunshine, the world around us alive with people and noise. Xinxin happily slurped on her chocolate cone, and I savored the peace of just being with her.

"Daddy," she said between bites, "can we do this every day?"

I leaned back, looking out at the zoo, feeling the light breeze on my face. "I think I could get used to it."

She smiled, her face sticky with chocolate, and I smiled back, knowing that these moments, these small pieces of joy, were more important than anything else.

For today, we were just a dad and his daughter—no worries, no stress, just laughter, ice cream, and the wonder of animals.

Maybe tomorrow things would get complicated again, but today? Today was ours.