Sense of Reality (Alan Ashby)

This Room Just Got A Little Bit Smaller

I pulled out my music book and a pen, before neatly writing down the date in it. I heard them talking at me. I ignored them in my usual fashion, and began half-listening to the teacher. Their voice droned on, and I started writing lyrics down in my book.

'Diana!'

I finally got sick of the ginger's nagging. I twisted in my chair.

'What, Alan? Come to torment the emo?' I spat. I turned back around the other way.

'No.' I laughed at his answer.

'Then what do you want?' I asked, scribbling down a few more words.

'The reason why.' I turned back to face him.

His ginger hair flopped over his face, obviously straightened and hair-sprayed. He was wearing jeans and a plain shirt. Without his big group, you could have mistaken him for any other regular guy.

But I knew better. Behind his dazzling smile and drop dead looks was a sinister intention waiting to be entrusted with your deepest, hair raising secrets and any girl's heart who was stupid enough to give it too him. He had ruined many reputations and been the cause of most of the trust issues.

'Yeah right. You've probably already told anyone and made up a pretty little lie to go along with it. I fell in love and you played me like every other girl here? I got stuck with a broken heart so I sat at home and cried for days on end? You don't know me. You can't judge me. So don't try and worm your way into my life. I know exactly the type of guy you are.' He seemed hurt by my words.

'I didn't tell anyone, Ana.'

'Firstly, don't shorten my name. Secondly, you're a liar. Don't you come near me again.' The bell rang, ending our discussion quite effectively and impressively. I packed up my books and was first out of the classroom door.

I walked to my new homeroom and snagged a seat at the back. I chucked my headphones in my ears with the volume down low and waited for everyone else to arrive.

I watched everyone file in. That girl, Jessica, was in my class again. I settled back. Only one nut job to deal with. Perfect. I watched my new teacher come in the door, followed by a few other students. Just my luck. The ginger duo and batshit crazy Barbie walked in, looking smug. They claimed seats in the middle of the room, kicking out the kids who were sitting there.

'Damn.' I mumbled under my breath. The class flew by. Mostly it was just free time, so I listened to my music, not really caring what anyone said. Finally, the first day of school was over. I walked home, deciding to skip the bus and pay a visit to Jay. I walked into the cemetery, the newer graves making me feel sick.

For a cemetery, it was quite nice. There was a pond at one end and all of the newer graves had flowers. I walked uncertainly into pathway maze, checking all of the names on the headstones. I had only been to Jay's grave once, on the day of his funeral and I was going off memory of what it looked like.

I finally found him. He lay between two trees, and there was a bench right across from him. I sat down and let the light breeze play with my hair. I had put it up and taken it out quite a few times during the day, and now it was out.

'Hey Jay...' I started. I didn't know what to say. I looked around, seeing if anyone was there so that I could unleash my most inner secrets without be heard.

'It was the first day of senior year. It felt wrong without you. Mr C's still giving everyone homework on the first day and there's a whole bunch if new students to stereotype.' I filled him in on a few details of school, just glossing over topics. I needed to get down to the nitty-gritty stuff though.

'I've missed you. Heaps. I'm sorry I haven't visited you before, I just... I just guess that you would be disappointed in me. I mean, Alan Ashby found out about my scars.' I looked down at my wrist.

'It isn't that bad. It was once. But now that you're gone, they pick on me Jay.' I bit back tears. I couldn't do this.

'I'm sorry, Jay. I have to go.' I ran out of the cemetery. Why had I ever thought visiting him would be a good idea?

I walked through my front door.

'Hey mum.' I said, chucking my keys on the table next to the door and throwing my bag inside my room. I walked out to the kitchen. My mum was having a hot drink and reading a magazine. She had Mondays off work, the lucky thing.

'Hi darling. How was your day?'

'Pretty ordinary,' I started, pouring myself out a drink. 'We have new homerooms. And I went to see Jay.' I tacked it on to the end, hoping she wouldn't notice.

'It's good that you saw Jay. I'll let you get to your homework.'

'How did you know I had homework?' I asked, taking my cuppa into my room.

'You have Mr C, honey. And I heard your bag land with a thump. It's a little bit obvious.' I laughed and started, my music playing in the background.

A/N

Bad update, I know...

Title cred: Tonight Alive - thank you and goodnight