Sense of Reality (Alan Ashby)

I'm Never Going Down, I'm Never Giving Up

Two things immediately popped into my mind when she said that.

One: the situation with my father.

After I had come home, my mother had told me the full story about Christian - I refused to call him "Dad" or any other variation.

They had been dating when my mum found out she was pregnant. Christian had been overjoyed for the first month, then he slowly began distancing himself from her. He stayed back late at work, claiming the boss wanted him to work overtime for days at a time. More "guy's nights" occurred and by the end of my mother's third month of pregnancy he was sleeping on the couch - if he came home at all - with his belongings in a few boxes.

He got up in the middle of the night and left, without saying a word or leaving a note. By this time their relationship had fizzled out, and they were barely speaking. My mother, terrified with the prospect of facing her first pregnancy alone, joined a young mother's club.

There, she met Sharon, newly engaged and also carrying. She had been pregnant for only a month. They joined forces and helped each other through their pregnancies. Sharon was present for my birth and my mum was present for Jay's. Sharon married Jay's father six months after his birth.

As for my mother, she had many suitors - mostly set ups arranged by Sharon. My mother had no interest in them however, choosing instead to accept the free meal and maybe a kiss or two, before returning home and taking care of me. She never heard from Christian until just under a year ago.

He showed up in town and saw me walking home. He had recognized me, but couldn't place it. A few days ago he rocked up at our house, to see if his ex-girlfriend still lived in town. His guess had been correct, and I had arrived home from school a few minutes later. It was perfect, until I ran out.

My mother asked if I wanted to see Christian - even if it was just to meet him. It didn't matter to me though. He was just another person, someone you would see everyday while in the streets, buying an ice cream on a hot summer's day or taking a dip in the local swimming pool. Christian hasn't returned to our house, as soon as I had left my mother had ordered him out - giving me just enough time to get away of course.

And two: the situation with Alan.

Alan couldn't be trusted. He had associated himself with Hayley and Stella from primary school, and their bond had only strengthened. How was I to know if this wasn't all a setup? He played with girl's hearts all the time - when he wasn't in a relationship with Hayley, at least. He had performed spectacles like this before, just never with someone as outcast in the school's social ladder as me. The only thing that pointed towards him actually liking me was the fact that he had already been setup, with a much prettier girl than me who was probably destined to become a socialite.

I hesitated before telling Jessica. We had become close, but I was wary of baring my soul to someone. She looked at me and gave me an encouraging smile. She put her hand on my knee and rubbed it soothingly.

'You can trust me, Ana. I promise I won't tell anyone. Cross my heart,' she did this gesture while looking into my eyes, not blinking, 'and hope to die.' I took a deep breath and relayed my previous thoughts. 

Jessica stayed quiet the whole time, a first for her. She must have been serious. I poured everything off my chest, and even ranted a little bit. She absorbed all the information and didn't stop rubbing my leg.

'I'm sorry,' I said when I finished, leaning in and hugging her, 'I haven't been able to do that since Jay.'

'It's fine, I asked you to tell me everything. Jay is a story for next time.' Jess said, embracing me and changing to rubbing my back.

'Now, how about a slide?' Jessica's eyes sparkled, and I nodded. She clambered up the slide and waited patiently while I relived memories, climbing the equipment slowly. In my heart, I knew this was going to be the last time my feet touched these bright pieces of plastic that had formed my childhood. The last time I would swing on the monkey bars, taking the long way around to the firetruck red slide. I sat down, wrapping my legs around Jessica's middle, mimicking the way Jay used to do with me. I reached up and grabbed the safety bar, pushing us off. The slide was over in a middle of seconds, and I saw a red head standing at the edge of the park as Jess and I crash landed on the springy bark. 

'Go,' Jess pushed me in his direction, 'go home and let him meet your mum.' She winked at Alan, and he blushed as I walked over to him.

'Bye, Alan, Diana!' Jessica skipped off, whistling. I took Alan's hand and kissed his cheek.

'You've forgiven me?' He asked, looking down at me. I shook my head. 

'You didn't do anything wrong. Now, how about you meet my mum?'

A/N

Title cred: Say You Like Me - We The Kings