I. 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 : ᴠᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴀᴍʙʟᴇꜱ.

more shit venting

I regret a lot of things to do with my past, a fucking lot. But the one thing i am constantly beating myself over is that promise i made. That stupid fucking promise.

We were friends. You know? Before everything happened. Before he went down a spiral. Before he fucked over my relationship with some of my friends. Before everything.

I still thought of him as a friend even during that situation. I wanted him to get therapy. I NEEDED him to get therap. I needed him to move on. I needed him to see he wasn't in the right state of mind and he could seriously hurt himself or somebody else.

He had hurt himself.

He had hurt somebody else.

He hurt multiple people.

I hate this. "Wait for me, promise me that youm be mine. Promise me that you won't leave me. Promise me that when I get better, you'll be here." He said.

I did so. God i was so fucking stupid. I know he wouldn't have went if I didn't. Nothing could ever stop him from doing what he wanted. Nothing but a shitty promise from me I guess.

"..fine.. just listen to what they say." I said. Something along those lines at least. Fucki bc moron. Thanks a lot younger me, because now I deal with this kind of shit.

He's matured. That much is obvious. It seems all therapy and a mental hospital did was worsen him up. Great. That's great.

..

I don't want him doing anything to my friends. I definitely don't wish for Lara to get involved. I don't need them getting involved at all. I love them too much to have a possibility for them getting hurt mentally or physically to be a goddamn option.

If he ever, and I mean ever, makes his shit account known. Please, just keep them away from it. Keep them away from him. I can't imagine what I would do if there was even a single "fuck you@ thrown to them..