Nothing Left to Lose -MGK fanfic-

Chapter 5- Colson's pov

I couldn't believe I was acting like such an idiot. Was I seriously crying? In front of a girl? You're such fucking idiot Colson. Man the fuck up. Stop crying. Crying is for two kinds of people and two kinds of people only- girls and pussies. Don't be one of those two types of people.
"Colson," Tatie began, awkwardly rubbing my arm. "I've never seen a guy this upset. Like ever. What the fuck happened?"
"I don't know...sometimes it just gets to be too much to handle. Heroin is such a dark place to be at Tatie. Please promise me you'll never get into that shit."
I had just told a girl that I hadn't even know for a month one of my biggest issues.
"HEROIN?!" She did exactly what I didn't want her to do. Freak out. Shit.
"Yeah...uhh...that's kinda why he kicked me out. My addiction gets to be too much for him to handle too. I'm like, pouring his money down the drain just trying to feed the craving of getting more and more high. Makes sense he doesn't want me around...no one wants a messed up son."
....
"...I don't think you're messed up."
There was a long silence. But not an awkward one. It was actually kinda nice.
"Why don't you try talking to your mom," she suggested. "Moms are very understanding."
"I can't really do that," I responded. "She isn't exactly around."
"Oh...OHHH I see. I'm so sorry for your loss," she said, trying to be comforting.
I laughed, which probably wasn't really appropriate for the situation. But fuck it. I can't help if I laugh or cry or scream or anything.
"Nah she ain't dead. She just doesn't live with me and my dad. I have a brother too, but he's still in jail. To be honest I really don't know where my mom is. She hasn't been around since I was five. And I never remember her being all that nice to me so screw her anyway."
"Oh...yeah I'm kind of like that with my dad. He's in jail like your brother. He used to sometimes abuse me and my mom and brother. He wasn't right in the head. He's not a good guy...yet part of me misses him."
"I get that. I miss my brother too. But I know for sure that he's a good guy inside. I know it. He didn't deserve to go to jail."
"I don't know if my dad was a good guy inside or not."
"I should probably just...get going. Thank you T."
Her face contorted into an appalled grimace of concern
"Colson, it's fucking lightninging out there. You'll get your sorry ass electrocuted."
"Lightninging?" I laughed. She laughed too.
"Please don't go back out there Kellz," she said seriously, staring deep into my eyes and holding my hand in hers. Damn, she really did have the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen. "You're the one who barged in here in the first place begging to sleep on the couch anyway. Come on, just for one night. I don't want you out there and I'm sure your dad doesn't either."
"Fine." I finally agreed. "But nobody can know..."