Remainers

To Those in the Future, Part 11

John walked through the residential district, a comparatively small part of the shelter composed of large dorms full of single-room residences. For the majority of his time in the shelter, John never cared to explore this area, especially since it held little interest for him aside from being a place to sleep. However, this time was a different story. He was here for one thing and one thing only: to see Martina.

John had never visited Julio or Martina at their rooms before, mostly because they seemed to spend nearly all their time at the bar. He knew Martina went back from time to time, but he was convinced that Julio had to be living there for him to be there at all hours of the day. Considering how often the two of them were at the bar anyway, he never felt the need to visit them in their rooms anyhow.

As a result, John found himself for the first time exploring a part of the shelter he had never paid much attention to. The endless halls of same-looking doors almost started to make his head spin, but thankfully the room numbers were enough a grounding point for him to eventually make his way to Martina's room.

The moment he got there, he knocked on the door with a bit of nervous urgency. "Martina!" he shouted out. "Are you awake?"

Silence followed. Then, after a short pause, he heard some grumbling. "John? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I heard you weren't doing well," John explained. "Are you decent? I'd like to come in for a bit."

"Sure," Martina said hesitantly. "Not sure why you needed to come see me, though."

Martina opened the door, and John had to stop himself from reacting in shock. He expected her to not look her best, since she was sick and off duty, but he was surprised by how poorly she was doing. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she seemed incredibly antsy, as if she was expecting something awful to happen.

"What's the matter?" John asked worriedly. "You look terrible."

"Gee, thanks for the kind words," Martina sniffled irritably. "I haven't been able to sleep. I keep jumping out of bed."

"Why? What's the problem?"

"I... I don't know. It's like I keep thinking someone's going to attack me out of nowhere."

"Who? Michael Ackerton?"

"No, he doesn't have the guts to do that. Even so, I can't stop thinking about the possibility."

Martina shivered as her eyes darted left and right, scanning the outside. "Come in if you're not gonna leave. I don't want to be in the open for too long."

John nodded and entered the room. Martina closed the door behind him and plopped onto her bed while he sat on a chair opposite it. Though she often liked to dress ostentatiously outside, here she was wearing light blue pajamas with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. He would have found it a refreshing look if she didn't look so awful.

"I heard what happened from Julio," John said once they got comfortable. "I was surprised you got physical with Michael Ackerton. You usually have a lot more patience than that."

"I don't know what it was," Martina admitted. "For some reason, I just felt really agitated with him that day. Then he tried to put his arm around me and I just lost it."

"Did something happen recently?" John asked, trying to probe further a bit. "Maybe something that really put you on edge, or amped up your anxiety."

Martina thought for a bit before answering. "To be honest, I was almost attacked recently."

"What?" John was surprised. "When did this happen?"

"A few days ago. I didn't want to talk about it, so I didn't mention it. Julio doesn't know either."

"Are you all right?"

Martina nodded. "The guards managed to grab him before he did anything to me."

"Who attacked you? Was he a crazed fan?"

"I don't think so. I think he just went mad. He was shouting, but he wasn't saying anything coherent."

"Were you feeling okay? Mentally, I mean."

"Not really. To be honest, since then, I've been feeling extra anxious ever since it happened. It's funny; I thought I'd be used to this having been confronted by wild fans all my life, but I guess I was wrong."

John stood up and put his arms on Martina's shoulders. "There's no reason why you should be used to it. Get some rest, okay? Trying some breathing exercises if you can't sleep."

That was advice based on reducing adrenaline output, but Martina didn't seem to realize. John had no idea if it'd help either, but if there was any way he could stop the virus's advance, he would take it.

After some more time, John took his leave. It took everything he could to keep his hands from shaking as he left. He knew that everyone in the shelter was infected with the virus. He knew that even he could fall prey to it at any time. But to see one of the few friends he'd made in this shelter suffer from its effects so clearly tore him up inside.

All of a sudden, the virus no longer became a problem of a faraway future. Instead, it was an issue that concerned him now, and a solution needed to be found as quickly as possible, if there was one. He felt ashamed that it took the possible death of a friend to motivate him this much, but it was better late then ever.

But still, what could he do? He was no scientist, and even if he was, he had far too little information to be able to devise a possible cure on his own. If he thought about it, the only people who could devise a cure at all would be the Ackertons themselves.

John immediately felt guilty about even considering working with the Ackertons. Having said that, it was a possibility he would simply have to consider. Out of all of the people in the shelter, they were the ones who knew the most about this virus, making their resources invaluable. Of course, they were already putting all of their energies into looking for a cure, so it's not as if making contact with them would have any impact whatsoever.

Then there was his argument with Kath. She had given him several days to explore the shelter so that he could leisurely come to a decision on whether they should tell everyone or keep the whole thing a secret. He had been thankful for the extra time, but now he felt as if it was a bit too much. He wanted to meet with her right away, but since he had no idea where she was, all he could do was wait for their appointed meeting time.

Even then, he still hadn't really figured out which option would be for the best. He knew that Kath was right; the people needed to know about this virus. But even with that being the case, he couldn't deny that many people would go wild just from learning about it. Not to mention it really wouldn't help people who already activated their virus.

He'd been walking aimlessly for some time, but eventually he stopped and just fell to the ground. He had never felt so helpless before, and of course, it just had to be when it affected one of the most important people in his life. The weight of that helplessness felt like it was crushing him, and there was little he could do to get away from it.

Even so, he needed to do something. After ridding himself of all the unease and the uncertainty, only that resolve was left. Maybe he couldn't change anything. But if he allowed himself to simply let things pass as they were, then he would never be able to live with that decision.