Women's Sports Imagines

Christen Press & Tobin Heath- Quiet

Background: 16-year-old Kaia Press is a soccer star just like her sister. They even play for the same team together, Angel City FC. To make things easier for everyone, Christen and Tobin had Kaia move in with them. Living with 2 of the greatest soccer players in the world has its benefits. Kaia is always learning and absorbing everything the older women tell her about. It paid off after a little while. 

The greatest day of her life was when Vlatko called and invited her to be on the 2023 Women's World Cup roster. Christen and Tobin were left off due to injuries, which was a bummer for Kaia. She always imagined that when this day came, she'd have them at her side, playing with them, but body parts are stupid and that was swept off the table. 

Obviously, she still went to the World Cup and her family cheered her on from the US. After the first game, Kaia knew how the tournament was going to go. She'd be lucky to see the field again, despite scoring in the opener, and mistakes would be overlooked, and adjustments would not be made. There was no attempt from the coaching staff to fix anything that wasn't working. The USWNT would not be winning this World Cup, and Kaia knew it right off the bat. 

Kaia's POV

"Kai," someone says my name, but it sounds muffled, "Kaia. Hey! Kaia!"

I snap out of it not when I hear my name called again but when a hand is placed on my shoulder. I hear everything at full volume again. I wish I didn't. I wish I could close my eyes and keep out all the sounds and disappear. I know there are cameras on us right now, so I don't want to do anything that would earn any extra attention. I don't turn around to see who's behind me. I don't move. I feel like a don't know how to.

"Kai, look at me." I know now this is Kristie.

She stands there for a second, presumably waiting for me to turn around and look at her. But I don't move. She moves her hand off my shoulder and grabs my hand instead. I still don't move. I think she's unsure of what to do. Which makes sense as I feel the same way. She walks around to stand in front of me, still holding my hand.

"Kaia. Hey, look at me," she moves her hands to my shoulders, "It's okay, Kai. You're okay." I finally make eye contact with her.

"I... I'm sorry." I can hardly croak out.

"Wha- Kai," she pulls me into her arms and holds me tightly, "why are you apologizing?"

"I... I should have done more." I can only whisper.

"You did everything you could've done." Kristie tells me.

Deep down, I know she's right. I played for a total of 11 minutes. All but about 3 were in the Vietnam game. I scored. I was given 11 minutes in the whole tournament, and I scored. I was subbed in to take a PK, which is something I was not told would be happening until it did. He subbed me in for Andi last second and made me go first. And I buried it. I threw up in my mouth as I kicked it, and I made it. I don't know what else he wants from me. He told me I was an asset then sat my ass on the bench the whole time.

"Kaia, we have to huddle now." She lets go of me.

I nod and we head over to the group. The entire team is crying, except for me. I can't feel it yet. I can't cry because I don't feel anything. I'm mentally numb. I don't know how I'm still standing because physically I feel numb too. Everyone is looking at Vlatko as he talks, wiping the tears from their eyes and cheeks. I look at the ground and tune him out. I don't want to hear what he has to say. I space out again and snap out when everyone stands up and starts heading to the locker room.

"Come on, Kaia. Let's go." Kristie grabs my hand again and we start walking towards the tunnel.

When we get back to the locker room it's pretty quiet. Nobody knows what to say so we all take our gear off silently. I don't need to shower now. I didn't do anything. Once I'm out of my uniform I clean up my area and make it look nice, so the staff doesn't have to later. I wash my face in the sink before heading back to my locker. I crawl inside to sit and hug my legs to my chest; all balled up. It livens up as time goes on. Pinoe brings the energy back up for those of us that are capable of having any. I'm not one of those people. I don't mind that they're smiling and having fun. I don't expect everyone to wallow in self-pity when what's done is done. But I'm still numb. I will wallow in self-pity.