the digital diary of actual trash

updates, eight months later

ok, so, hello losers. long time no see.

before we get into this, yes I will be posting new writing, but I just thought it would be way to abrupt to just randomly post a story when I haven't been on for like over half a year.

so, where the hell have I been?

since ive posted last (late October of 2014), my life was literally thrown to the curb and stomped on, hence why I couldn't post.

so, for those of you who have been here since last summer. (yikes. btw) would know that I have some pretty bad anxiety, and I believe it was last august when I deleted all my poetry and such because it was causing many problems between family and friends. after that I was off for about two weeks, then I started posting some intense stuff.

for those of you who remember "waiting games" I apologize for you having to deal with that.

since waiting games I just stopped posting all together, I went and got help for my problem which took about four months, then I met a bunch of new people and re-connected with people I hadn't spoken to in a while, then I had probably the worst teacher i'll ever have in my life, like I kid you not ive never hated someone as much as I hate her. so that was stressful because I had her teaching me all day five days a week, because in my country we don't do the whole middle school thing, its k-7 then high school is 8-12, then university or college.

I didn't have time to write because I had fallen back into my old self and my panic attacks came back more and more frequently, I didn't do so great academically this year because that teacher is actual trash. so I spent a lot of time at home, sitting on tumblr, drawing or watching anime, I spent a lot of time sleeping and rarely went out f the house except for soccer, volleyball, skating, theatre and school. my eating patterns were messed up and I didn't talk to my friends much,  I gave up on myself and deleted my tutorial account on instagram and just let myself slip until about January-febuary.

I just needed time off from everything for a while which is why I didn't go on even though im fine now, but girl lemme tell you something, once you've been through stuff like I have and you recover youll learn a lot about yourself and about your previous state which i'll talk about in my next chapter.

but im okay now and i'll be posting more and more.

so hold your stinkin horses lady im goning to be uploading the first chapter of my new story in a week or so.

btw when I logged off I had twenty followers and now I have four tf happened guys get your head in the game son.

peace and blessings.