Be My Sloth? Jaythan story boyxboy

If I Were You I'd Put That Away

I went to candy land 

Title: If I Were You I'd Put That Away See You're Just Wasted Thinking About The Past Again Darling You'll Be Okay (A/N: I didn't put the whole thing in cause it was too long) 

Song: Hold On Till May 

Band: Pierce The Veil 

Jay POV 

 Pacing back and forth in the yard. Still wondering if i should go through with this. I should, but i haven't seen him in a long time i don't know if he still have feeling for me. He wouldn't i heard he moved on. Here goes nothing. I heard the door creak open. He's here i know it. 

"Jay is that r-really you" i manged to say. I nodded his smile grew wide into a grin.

"I missed you" i know he had it's been awhile. He wrapped his arms around my pulling me into a giant bear hug. "I missed you too Niall" I said still holding our embrance. It felt weird being in some else's arms. I loved Nathan i missed that sloth. "Come in" he said to me gestering his hands. I sat down look around everything seemed the same. I loved it but it wasn't right. 

It's wasn't right that i left Nathan. It hurts and the worse part is that i had a webcam video everything they are doing right now. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After i talked for a Niall, well mosted sobbed. I wanted to check on Sky. I went upstairs went into my old room well, now Niall's room. I went in there and grabbed his laptop. I put in the password. 

6/18/10

The first time he told me he loved me. I loved him to, could he still love me? Hate Me? I don't know anymore.

*FlashBack*

"I want to stay like this forever, it seems nice" i heard him say it felt nice i felt like everything stopped but i felt that is still wasn't right. "Me Too Niall" i said looking down at my arms, mostly my writst, all that was left was scars. Scars from my past everything that haunts me to this day. I looked up to Niall 

His face was worried, he knew i had a problem i seemed to stop because of him. "Promise me you wouldn't do it again" he said to me "I love you, you mean to much to do that." I knew he meant it i lovecd him too. He's perfect to me. 

" I love you too"

*End Of Flashback 

It never felt right. I knew i didn't mean it., I checked on the webcam. My body went numb my vision went blury. Tears came into my eyes ready to come out. I looked away i closed the laptop and ran to the bathroom. I couldn't believe my eyes, this is just a lie. Did he just really care about me? Did he really meant anything he said? I knew this would happen 3 years worth of nothing. 

3 years of being clean i guess no one really cared if they want me dead. I say why didn't i just do it when i had a chance? i locked the door and looked around. 

I needed a blade, a razor, something sharp. I done with this why couldn't i just do it like i did when i had a chance, why did i stop? If all i ever did was to cause people. I'm not meant for this world if i was wouldn't i be happy cause i don't any happy anywhere. I'm far from broken, i was shattered. 

I found a razor, i don't care what Niall use it for. I wanted to die. I pressed the razor across my wrist, i watched the blood come out, i pressed even harder. I saw my blood flow out of my wrist. i felt dizzy, my whole life flashed back before my eyes. I was waiting for the blackness to take me. 

I felt it pullin me down, my eyes felt heavy and i just let them fall making me fall into a blackness. 

Niall's POV

   It's been awhile since i seen Jay. I missed him so much it was just emtiness without him. I stayed in the living room for a little while until i heard the bathroom door shut. I heard sobbing

And My walls are very thin

Jay can't be crying why would- a thought my sinister came to mind. No He can't BUT HE PROMISED. HE CAN'T BREAK IT. 

I went running to the bathroom. Oh No I-I was too late. I called the pollice i need him i brought the bathroom door open and saw his lifless body. My body fell to my knees why he doesn't deserve this why him. Why can't it be someone else. Why does it have to be

My Jaybird 

He's perfect i needed him. I checked his pulse i felt a faint beating of his heart. I'm scared soon the heart will stop and so will mine. 

My World Is Soon To Be Gone 

I'm lost to see the love of my life gone before my eyes. I saw the police take his body away and i sit there sob. My love soon gone. 

What Happen to him, Why did he do this? Why?

   DID YOU CRY CAUSE I DID :'( But You guys should really listen to that song on the right, Hold On Till May by Pierce The Veil, i need it when i'm having a hard time. So if you guys are having a hard time just measage me, or tweet me (or Dm) on twitter. I love you guys byee (Not creppy like)

To those who was in the bombing in Boston stay strong.

And To Those in Iraq who died too on monday Stay strong