Seize The Day Or Die Regretting

Chapter 7: I'm Your Fool.

Chapter 7: I’m Your Fool.

Brian came home at five o’clock that night. He wasn’t pleased that I was awake but I did have nap. I slept most of the afternoon and only woke up about a half hour before he got back. I made a cup of Raman noodles for dinner and had a can of soda. I watched some TV; the News to be exact. Apparently a Mini Mart not too far from here was robbed earlier today. Alot of robberies have been happening lately. It’s frightening and I was alone so I called Brian, he said it was okay and he’d be home soon.

The weather had turned into a server thunderstorm which is beautiful. In the dark, my body sat at the floor to ceiling window in the living room and watched as the rain fell from the sky. Brian was on the phone with his dad, papa Gates. I sat cross legged on the floor watching the rain slide down the window as the lightening cracked the sky brightly. Thunder rolled around the sky like boulders falling from the cliff side.

I still haven’t asked Brian about it yet, I want too so badly but I’m scared. I am a coward.

I heard him come into the living room and groaned loudly as he sat next to me. We used to do this as kids, when there was a thunder storm we’d sit at a window, side by side and listen. We’d make up stories and sing little songs.

“Heather?” He spoke up with a small voice. I looked over at him with a straight face. My stomach was knotting and twisting.

“Yeah?” I replied softly. Brian’s eyes fell down to the floor between us as he remained silent. I swallowed hard and waited for him to speak the words on his mind. He looked back up to me. His face was slightly burnt under his eyes from the amount of time he spent in the sun today.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked. I smiled and nodded nervously.

“Of course.” I said in reply. He bit his lip nervously and looked deeply into my eyes, like he was peering into my soul with a purifying gaze that blessed my past from all its demons.  

“Where do I stand with you?” He questioned softly. His question took my breath away. I sat there quietly. My gaze fell down to my lap. I smiled and giggled stupidly.

“Wherever you want to stand with me.” I replied quietly. My eyes crawled up to meet his brightened gaze. His eyes smouldering hazel in the darkness brightened by my reply.

“So I can be more than just a friend to you?” He asked. My heart bounded around my chest as I was sent sky rocketing into the sky. I felt like a firework and I just blew up in the sky into hundreds of colours. I smiled at him with a nod.

“Do you think of me like that?” I questioned with a gentle voice. His face lit up like the sun in the big blue sky. Those dark eyes brightened into gold as a soft smile crossed his face. I felt his soft, warm hand press against my cold face; his thumb stroked my cheek gently. I couldn’t smell the salt water lingering off his skin which was off because I could smell his soap. Seriousness fell on his face, his hand as removed from my cheek. He looked down into his lap with a serious expression.

“Yes. But I’m scared.” I looked over at him and furrowed my eye brows.

“Why?” I asked softly. He frowned sadly as a single crystal like tear rolled down his cheek slowly. He really was afraid. Is he was crying he must be terrified. He sighed heavily and looked at me with a failed smile.

“I’m scared that if I screw up, I’ll lose you forever.” His words touched my heart with a fire clutch.  

“You’ve been my best friend for twenty-five years I can’t afford to lose you.” He said softly. I knew what he meant. I was scared I’d lose him forever as well. I was so scared that he’d get the best of me. I was scared that he’d feel the pain I’ve felt, the faith I’ve lost. I’ve done things in my past that I’m not proud of and I’m scared he’ll find the worst part of me after he got the best. I bit my bottom lip and looked at him with a faded smile.

“I’ve got another confession to make,” I began with a broad voice. His eyes wandered up to mine curiously. I smiled from the corner of my mouth as I put my hand on the side of his face; his jaw line ran across my ring finger. His warm skin was soft and smooth. I used my thumb to wipe the tear from his cheek.

“I’m your fool.” I announced with a smile. The feeling inside me felt like I just popped a packet of pop rocks in my mouth then chugged a can of cola. It was crazy and exhilarating. I loved it. I stroked his cheek again before pulling his face to mine, our lips grazed lightly.

I felt his hands grab either side of my face and press my lips hard against his. His lips tasted sweet and bitter. I could taste the alcohol on his breath. I could smell it lingering off his breath as well. I felt my hand fall from his face, hitting my lap loosely. I felt his body pushing me back towards the ground. My body lay on the ground while his was hovering above mine. I felt him press his body against mine. His hands crept up my sides, ridding my shirt up with them, the feeling of his rough touch gliding across my skin made me shiver. This was moving too fast. I can’t do this.

I felt my heart beating in my throat as my stomach fell into my butt nervously. I pushed him away from me and sat back up. I saw him frowning a little. He looked at me and shook his head sadly.  

“See, I screwed up.” He uttered softly. I smiled and shook my head. My mind reeled onto the thought, it made my smile fade.

“It’s not you, it’s...” I began but embarrassment took hold of me, my cheeks brightened with redness. I needed to tell him, he needed to know. I swallowed the pill they call pride and closed my eyes tightly before looking at him.

“I’m, I’ve never been with a guy like that.” I announced with so much embarrassment it was almost suicide. I hide my face in my hands smiling widely through embarrassment. I felt his hands wrap around my wrists carefully pulling them from my face and into my lap. I looked at him with reddened cheeks. He was smiling sweetly at me.

“Who were you saving yourself for?” He asked calmly. I blushed even more and laughed softly.

“You.”