The Phantom Phantomhive | Yaoi | Sebastian x Ciel

4

Again I found myself cursing as I stared down at my chest.
"What the Hell?" My fingers slowly grazed over the gaudy scar in the center of my chest, the shiny pink stretching like an explosion across my small frame. What was I saying about more problems?
I looked up at Sebastian wide-eyed.
He smiled bitterly and his brow creased. I could smell the guilt wash over him again like a tidal wave.
His long, slender fingers slowly joined mine, ever-so-lightly grazing my pale chest. His cold touch sent jolts across my skin where his fingers travelled. He stared at the scar- sadly? No, no way. Not Sebastian.
"You asked why I didn't kill you. I never said I didn't try." I froze. I had said that but I was in a rage. I never honestly thought that Sebastian, my Sebastian, would ever touch me with malice. I had never expected him to try to kill me, nor had I thought he ever would.
"But- why?" I managed to choke out around the giant knot that had formed in my throat.
His hand fell lifelessly from my body. He continued to stare at the pearlescent scar.
"I never intended for you to have this life. This, lack of life. To be like me is a curse I wish on a very few. But not you. Most souls that have tasted revenge become dark and twisted. But with your retribution came a kind of freedom. A separation from your past. A chance to start over again. And you still had your whole life to do so." He finally met my gaze. His eyes burned scarlet with fury.
"And that chance was taken from you. I could not even protect your soul. And even after all that. Even though I knew the life that awaited you, I could not bring myself to kill you. I suppose I am a demon if I do not choose to save you from this misery when I have the chance."
He laughed at his own damnation. It almost pained me to see him like this. So pitiful and empathetic. This was not the Sebastian I knew. But I suppose I was no longer the me either of us knew as well.
"Sebastian stop this. You are unstable right now, both of us are. This is not the time to be discussing such matters, so dress me and let us continue-."
"You are right Young Master, I am unstable." His gaze met mine, his eyes burning.
"You did this to me. These feelings these- desires," There were so many emotions swirling around the room. Pain. Confusion. Fear. Hunger.
"Sebastian?"
"They're all your fault."
His voice held so much power. Such malice and certainty.
He raised his hand slowly, the back of his slender fingers gently caressing my cheek. His face contorted with pain as he watched me watch him. I sat, frozen, on the edge of the bed, my nightgown lay beside me, my pale chest bared.
We sat in silence until he trailed his fingers down around my throat in a cold grasp. His face now a mask of fury.
He stood, his grip tightening around my neck. I gasped as he pushed me down onto my back. Now leaning over the edge of the bed he watched me.
I lay still, mortified beneath his grasp. How long had this demon gone without feeling? And yet now his emotions were whipping around the room like a tornado, wild and unrestrained.
He brought his legs up and kneeled on the bed above me. I had no escape. And he had no control.
He brought his head down so our noses were almost touching and stared deep into my eyes, searching.
"What did you do to me?" He whispered, panicked.
He then let his face fall, his cold, moist lips crashing on mine.