The Art Of Being

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I don't know why certain scenes in movies or books make me very emotional. I understand that it is the things I can relate with that make me vulnerable to my emotions, but why there are many scenes I can't figure out, why it is so relatable to me. Sometimes I wonder if it's the pure humanity of some scenes that awakens my empathy and senses. Like when I see a marriage on TV, and I begin to think of why people get married, or why they have this huge ceremony to exclaim their love for each other. Other times I'm flabbergasted by the quotes in many scenes... And I write them down just so I won't ever forget them. Sometimes I pay close attention to facial expressions, although I know they're meant to be noticed, but I love watching people get mad, or sad and only show it through their body language. I know why I love films so much, and it's because I love people. If I could, I would study humanity for the rest of my life. I would study their history, their science, their discovery of math, and what lies in each individual's brains. I don't want to discover anything new or become the best known scientist, I just want knowledge that can somehow enlighten my own existence. I don't want what I see; love, money, hope... I just want myself and my brain for the small eternity I have within me. I crave knowledge... I crave intimacy with myself and I feel like the more I know about people, the more I know about myself.

I wish I didn't have to subject myself to the idea that I have to study in order to get a right job, to get a decent amount of money to have a good life. I know I can't escape this labyrinth of monopoly but I just wish that I could perform this act while at the same time improvising a few lines to the script. I may be a tiny particle in a marvelous play, but without me, how would the play make sense?