Brookie

Depression

I became extremely depressed when I started 4th grade. That was the time when I started puberty and gained a lot of weight.

I started to hate my body. I thought I was hideous and fat. I didn't like myself at all. I was even having suicidal thoughts. I had to go to the school consulor regularly from 4th all the way to 8th grade.

In 8th grade I started cutting. For a little while it became an addiction. I had even cut a couple of words like Kill, Why, and Hate into my skin. I regret it. But with the help of my friends mainly Dezi, I was slowly but surely able to stop. I've been clean for a few months now.

I'm still a little bit depressed, but not as much as before. Dezi has been helping me with that by always being there for me and being a great friend. :)

For being so sad for a long time, I don't really like to smile. When I'm feeling normal, people ask if I'm upset because they think I look sad. It just seems to be my normal look I guess.