Struggles of My Younger Self( On Hold) #Wattys2015

Chapter 4:Death is cruel

It was darkness everywhere and I was running in what seemed like an alley. There was complete silence. My back was hurting and I was really cold. There at the end of the alley I saw light coming through what seemed like a door. I got closer there were some people talking but I couldn't see anyone; I was just hearing but not seeing anything. It was confusing. I couldn't make out the words. They weren't making sense!

I heard someone yelling and then a shriek making my eyes creak open. I realized I was dreaming but the voices were real - I was trying to make sense of everything. I was lying on a cold floor in a dark room. At the far corner was a door which was slightly open allowing light to come through it thus the light made it a little easier to see.

"Try to escape one more time and I won't hesitate to pull out my knife," I heard a man growl. I moved my head a little trying not to make any sound. My head hurt badly and I felt a bit dizzy but I ignored it and tried to look at the man who was standing a few steps away from the door. He was hunched over something and growling. He looked like he was in his twenties: he had a small beard and was wearing a regular tee and a pair of jeans. He was well built and had a scary expression on.

"Why are you doing this to me Raza? What has gotten into you? You were not like this!" I heard a girl whimper. I moved carefully to get a proper view and there was a girl who was completely messed up. She was crying every once in a while, a sob escaping her lips. Her lips were quivering and hands were shaking. It seemed like she hadn't eaten in days. She was very thin; her eyes sulked and had heavy bags under her eyes. She was begging the guy Raza who towered over her and by the looks on his face it seemed like that girl's pleas had no effect on him. He just had that angry and scary expression on. He gave a humourless laugh.

"You girls are always so dumb. Thinking that a guy is nice and talks to you and so he's the one only for you. It's always so easy to you girls," he said smirking down at her. Suddenly he snapped and went for her hair. The girl whimpered and tried not to cry because of the pain the guy was causing her though it was as if she was just a rag doll to him.

"Do not try to act smart because I'm going to keep a close eye on you. And if you do then mark my words, I'll make you taste a slow death," he threw her at the corner like she was some toy and went out mumbling angrily .He shut the door behind him and locked it. A sudden darkness overtook the room.

All the while I had my eyes into tiny slits and wasn't moving so they won't know that I had woken up. My back was almost numb from the cold floor and was hurting badly and I could hear that girl silently crying. I tried to get up but it got me all dizzy so I lay back down. After a while I tried to get up slowly so the dizziness won't come back; it seemed to work. I placed my back against the cold wall. Now when I looked around there was complete darkness. I tried to get up and get closer to the girl. Her sobs were coming from the other side of the room.

I slowly got up and went closer to her. When I assumed that I'm a foot away from her I slipped down, putting my back against the wall once again. I pulled my knees up and hugged them close to myself. Even though it was completely dark I could make out a small figure sitting in the same position as me. She was silently crying every once in a while a sob escaping her lips. I wasn't sure what to say so I remained silent and allowed her to cry. It felt like a long time later when the girl finally stopped crying and now when she wasn't sobbing there was complete silence in the room.

It was comforting to know that she was not crying anymore but in a way the silence was suffocating me. Complete silence and darkness. The only thing that came to my mind was is this how it will feel in grave?

It was very unusual because I never used to think about death or grave. There were so many other things going on in life that these things never crossed my mind. The other reason was baba's death. After he died I tried not to think about this cruel thing that took away my father - the person who was everything for me, who treated me like a princess, who'd get me chocolates on his way back home from work. Who'd listen to my childish stories that never made sense but still he would listen as if he understood every single word I said. He'd play with me, he'd bring me a lot of dolls and other toys and then would play doll, doll with me. He'd give me piggy back rides and would let me ride on is back while he would act like a horse. He was the one who bought me a really, really big doll house on my fifth birthday just because I once complained that my poor dolls had to sleep in my drawer and in protest I refused to sleep on my bed. That night he cuddled with me on the floor next to my drawer where all my dolls were apparently sleeping and promised that he'd bring me a really, really big doll house. He was the kind to person who never broke a single promise he made.