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[twenty-five]

She took a deep breath while she stood behind her mother who was silently doing the dishes, unaware of her presence. She had to do something before her family broke up tomorrow. And she had to do it today. At this time. At the moment.

She walked forward and tapped her mother's shoulder. Her mother looked behind and gave her a small smile. "Oh hi, honey. You want something?" She said.

Of course, I do. I want my family. But she scribbled something else in her toy writing pad, the gift she had got from her parents on her third and had stopped using it at the age of ten. I want to talk about the divorce.

Her mother's face fell as she read it. Kari snatched it from her and wrote something else before passing it back. Did you guys ever bother to ask what we want, mom?

"Kari..." Her mother bit her lip nervously before replying. "It's what I want."

She glared at her mother before retorting, What about what Gus and I want? When she did not reply, she further wrote. Did you ever think about me and Gus after the divorce and how difficult it would be for me to choose a custody because we want to live with both of you?

"Kari we should talk about this right now..." But before she could finish, Kari snatched the pad from her hands and wrote something. No. You have to answer me this time. You can't make the decisions by yourself and not telling me anything about it or asking me what I want only because I am mute. Just because I can't speak doesn't mean I don't have a voice regarding what's happening here.

"No." Her mother look startled. "No, I never said that. I have been worrying every minute about what's going to happen to my children after your father and I have separated. But... ever since we got married, we knew that the divorce was inevitable. Our marriage was arranged and, um, we didn't match our likes at all so we knew that one day, we would get fed up of ourselves and that the divorce would come. There are no amendments to the relationship between me and your father. We are just too... far apart."

Her hands were frozen on the writing pad as her mother went on. "But just because your father and I are going to lose our marriage and our relationship doesn't mean that you and Gus are going to lose your parents. 

And no matter whose custody you agree with tomorrow or sign for some petition for emancipation, we will always be your parents. I will always be your mother and he will always be your father. And for all these years, I want to tell you that I'm so proud of you, Kari. You were the one most responsible in raising Gus and taking care of yourself when we weren't there for you and I'm sorry for not giving you what you want the most."

She was almost in tears when she leaned forward and threw her arms around her mother's neck, burying her tear-stained face into the crook of her mother's neck. "And I'm not going to make you promise me to take care of Gus because I know that you always will. But I want you to promise me that you'll take care of yourself."

Kari, digging her fingernails into her mother's apron and inhaling the smell of detergent and mom, she nodded into her neck.