ILLICIT AFFAIRS | WLW

Chapter Forty

𝐀𝐍: Hey angels! Little heads up, this chapter is a LONG one. As I said in my latest announcement, I really want to keep the holiday-themed chapters to minimum (ideally three), so these chapters will be significantly longer than the others. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the shift in dynamics...!!

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The soft hum of the radiator filled the silence of Blair's apartment, punctuated only by the occasional honk from the traffic outside. The early morning sky, a dreary grey, cast a dim glow through the windows, stretching shadows across the wooden floor. It was December 22nd, three days before Christmas. Today marked not only the proximity of the holidays, but also the morning of Blair's journey to celebrate with Catherine and her family.

Yet despite the festive cheer that decked the streets, a distinct undercurrent of anxiety tugged at Blair's heartstrings. To say she was nervous was an understatement. She had faced the stifling weight of academia, the exhausting push and pull of relationships and the loneliness that often accompanied both. However, the deep chill that ran through her weighed heavier.

Spending Christmas with Catherine's family was supposed to be a good thing. Rationally, she knew that. But rationality had never been Blair's strong suit when emotions got in the way. Her hands gripped the ceramic mug she had been nursing for the past half hour, now lukewarm, barely touched beyond the occasional sip. A part of her was trying to ground herself with the quiet mundanity of the moment, but she was failing miserably. Her nerves were frayed, the anticipation pressing too greatly on her chest.

She had met Catherine's family once before, weeks ago at a dinner for the woman's birthday. She had been introduced as Catherine's...well, they had never labelled it back then, but there had been a certain ease, a natural rhythm to it all, as if Catherine had always imagined Blair fitting into her life seamlessly. Catherine had looked at her with that quiet confidence she always carried, as if the idea of Blair not belonging had never even crossed her mind.

The dinner had been pleasant, she thought. Nothing glaringly awful. The question wasn't whether Catherine's family had liked her – they had. But then again, that had been before. Before she and Catherine had fallen into that uncomfortable limbo and stepped back. The real fear, the deeper concerns gnawed at her. Did they know about the recent break in their relationship? Had Catherine told them? And if she had, how much had she said?

Those very thoughts made Blair's chest tighten. If they had known, how had their perception of Blair changed? Did they view her now, with wariness, maybe even scepticism? Perhaps they thought she was undeserving of Catherine.

Blair exhaled sharply and set the mug aside, barely noticing the way her fingers trembled slightly. She hated how unsettled she felt. Hated the way it made her feel like she was losing her grip on something, like she was standing in an unfamiliar space. That was the worst thing, wasn't it? The idea that her presence might not be entirely welcome.

Yet, despite the nerves, she was grateful. Grateful that Catherine had invited her in the first place, had extended the offer when Blair had made no indication of expecting one. It had been a lifeline. Because the alternative was bleak. She had originally envisioned a lonely Christmas, at least until her father returned. It was a day where she'd be accompanied only by the background noise of films she had already seen a thousand times before, waiting for takeout to arrive so she could eat in quiet solitude.

She supposed she should have felt relief, and in a way, she did. This was better, far better. Yet the gnawing feeling at the back of her mind, the nerves twisting in her stomach, refused to leave her in peace.

She glanced toward the corner of her apartment, where the collection of neatly wrapped gifts sat in one of her duffel bags. She had spent the last three days preoccupied with shopping, throwing herself into the hustle of last-minute shopping. She was on a quest, underscored by a determination to find the perfect present for Catherine's niece, Evie.