Over again

Chapter XXVIII

Next few days Zain and Sanam were with his family. One day Zain informed his family that he is taking Sanam out of the town for a few days.

"If someone is against it, let me now."-he said. No one said anything.

When the two of them were packed, Zain took her to the family cottage. First night, at dinner, Zain decided to talk to her.

"Sanam, I have to talk to you. Come here."-he said, patting the place beside him on the couch. She shyly approached and sat down beside him. He thought she was too close so he stepped away from her.

"Sanam, I don't know what my parents promised you before this marriage, but I'll tell you the truth. I don't want you to live under delusion that this is the real marriage. I don't want you to think that I'll ever touch you as the husband is touching his wife. Because I won't. You'll be my friend. I'll take care of you and will keep you safe, but we'll not sleep together. Sanam you're a pretty and nice girl, but I will never be able to love you."-he looked at her and saw that she listens carefully. Zain breathed deeply and continued:

"I already love a woman, Sanam. I love her so much. More than I ever loved anyone, more than myself. Our love was pure like the first snow, innocent as a newborn child. We got married and decided to live together. We were in love that much that we were ready to leave everything. But fate wanted otherwise.

The day after our wedding she died. And I lost the one I loved the most. Our love and story remained incomplete. Sanam, I don't want you to think I'm going to love you like her ever. I can't. Please, forgive me."

Zain looked at her and saw her sitting at the same place. Sanam was crying.

"Oh, Sanam I know this hurts but..."
She quickly put her hand on his mouth and shook her head.

"You didn't hurt me, Zain. It's not the fact that you don't love me and you never will, but your story. I didn't know this happened to you, Zain. I am so sorry. But now when you opened up to me, and when you told me your story, I want to tell you mine."-she returned to her old place.

"I want you to know that I was really happy when you told me you won't touch me, ever. Because I don't know if I could let it happen, Zain. I love someone. His name is Bilaal. I love him as much as you love her. But my parents never wanted me to marry him. The day before I'll agree to marry you, we had a fight. He said he doesn't want me in his life and to get lost once and for all. This was forever. I no longer had the desire nor strength to fight for our love alone, and I agreed to marry you.

When he heard this, he asked me to come back but I refused. I know that I betrayed him and our love with this what I have done but I had to. I would do anything for my parents. I want you to know that I'm still in touch with him.

We have thought for a long how to hide it from you, how to see each other and no one to know it, but I have to tell you everything now. I don't want you to think that I'm a good person because this my act will prove to you and myself that I'm not. But I love him. Please you forgive me."

Zain smiled and shook his head. "Don't worry. You'll be able to see each other. Just tell me when you want to see him. And please don't do it at least in the first months of marriage."

Sanam gratefully looked at him and smiled. "Thanks Zain."

And so the two of them began the life of husband and wife. In front of the family and friends they played the roles of couple in love but in the room they were complete strangers. Zain let Sanam to see Bilaal whenever she wanted and he covered her up. She In return was there as his friend. He would tell her some details of his and Aaliya's love story. Sanam tried to help him as much as she could.