All I Ever Wanted

Phonecall

Lindsey stood and let the warm steady stream wash over him, trying hard not to let the distant ringing from the next room annoy him. From the time he had entered his own hotel and gotten into the shower his phone hadn't been quiet for a single moment. Blocking out the sound the best he could, he decided whoever it was would just have to wait. He could tell by the ringtone it was neither his kids nor Kristen, which meant it wasn't anything important at home. Stevie was sleeping soundly when he left, probably still was, and everyone else was most decidedly not worth hurrying out of the shower for.

Drying himself off, he glanced down at his still ringing phone and saw a familiar name. Just his attorney. He did have a habit of calling for the most mundane of things, not giving up until he got through. Still, best to deal with it he figured, finally accepting the call.

'Beep beep'. No answer. Damn! She'd been calling him nonstop for twenty minutes, but got no further than the signal telling her the line was busy. Who was he talking to? Colour draining from her face, she imagined just who it could be. Attempting to push the thought away, she hurriedly pressed his name again. She had to get to him first. Had to. Had to explain, somehow.

'Beep beep beep'. No! She wanted to throw her phone out the window. Shut up that mocking sound once and for all, but instead stared at it at a loss for what to do. That number. What should be cause for excitement, nervous excitement perhaps, was now cause for nothing but dread. Refusing to give into despair, she finally managed to think somewhat logically. She never gave them his contact information. She'd been careful to update her own every so often, but never his. Just his name. With renewed hope, she dialed his number once more. Different beep this time. Not busy. Her nerves suddenly skyrocketed. Oh shit, she hadn't really gotten so far as to figure out what to say when he finally did answer. Didn't matter, as long as she got him on the phone. Tell him not to pick up should anyone else call. Tell him she had to talk to him now... And then what? Oh, why didn't he pick up? Impatient, she ended the call, then quickly redialed. Still not busy. Still didn't answer. He always answered.

She had just ended her last attempt at reaching Lindsey when her phone suddenly came to life on its own. She recognized the number instantly, staring at it for a few seconds, bracing herself before she finally answered. A formal, yet warm voice greeted her.

"Hello, this is Thomas Moore from the Margaret Hart Family Foundation calling."

"I know. I mean, I was just about to call you back." She cursed herself at her eagerness, but it didn't seem to deter the man calling.

"Yes, I tried reaching you earlier. Am I speaking to Stephanie Lynn Nicks?"

"This is she" Her heart beating so loud now, she wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it through the phone.

"I'll get to the point. As you know, you gave birth to a girl on October 28th 1993. You proceeded to give her up for adoption through our organization".

"Yes. I mean, I know"

"As you were informed at the time, by giving the child up for adoption you relinquished any parental rights, including any rights to at any time contact, search for, try to identify or locate the child."

"I remember." Her voice quiet, memories of the first time those rules had been laid before her heavy on her mind.

"However, upon reaching legal adulthood the child is free to contact us for information of their biological parents or even for help in arranging a meeting should they wish."

Despite everything, now holding back her excitement proved difficult. She had both hoped and been terrified of this for so long. The day in question had come and gone, the day it had been 18 years since she gave birth to that beautiful little girl. Since then hope had waned little by little, and now, she couldn't really believe it was finally happening.

"She contacted our organization yesterday and expressed interest in meeting her birth parents. Should you be interested and she doesn't change her mind, I will facilitate any first meeting. You will learn her identity should that time come. For now, I need your permission to give her your identity, and to relay whether you wish to meet her or not. Take your time to think about it Ms. Nicks, we completely understand if..."

"Yes!" The silence on the other end indicated he was caught a bit off guard by her sudden enthusiasm, giving her the opportunity to continue: "No time needed. I want to meet her. I'm in Europe now, but I'll fly her anywhere."

"Are you sure? This is a big..."

"Yes. I'm sure." Despite the fear and inner turmoil, she knew the biggest grin currently defined her face, tears running freely. Finally, she might get to see her little girl. But then, remembering, she had to ask:

"And, um...The father? You haven't had a chance to contact him yet have you?"

"Ah, yes. Mr. Buckingham. For some strange reason we have no information on how to contact him, and he's hardly listed anywhere now is he?" A small laughter revealing he knew just who he was talking about. Relief washed over her, but before she had a chance to reply, he continued:

"Thankfully, I've been in this game for a while. When I couldn't get a hold of you first, I simply used my connections to track down his attorney. After some convincing, he put me through"

Her face fell instantly. How to breathe a long forgotten skill.

"You talked to him?"

"Yes, right before I finally got through to you."

"And you told him what you just told me?"

"Well, I got around to it eventually. To be perfectly honest, he seemed a bit confused. Especially when I mentioned your name."

Confused would be right, she thought bitterly.

"I'm sorry Ms. I must ask in the off chance I got the wrong Lindsey Buckingham. Does he know you gave the child up for adoption?"

She sighed and slumped back in her chair. This wasn't happening. "No" she stated matter-of-factly.

"I never even told him I was pregnant"