All I Ever Wanted

The Show Must Go On

There he stood. Karen gritted her teeth, readying herself to do whatever necessary to keep both her boss and her lover/nemesis alive and remaining in the arena till showtime. 'No easy feat' she thought while tightening the grip on her boss' arm in an effort to dissuade her from acting on her worst instincts.

Ever since the unforgivingly public fight last night, her job had pretty much felt like the definition of hell. It was obvious, once she had managed to convince Stevie to come back inside the hotel, that she hadn't really noticed just how many were gathered in the lobby. Fair enough, nothing on their concert-numbers, but then, the nature of this particular spectacle was such that the audience should have been at about zero. Once inside, there had been no choice but to maneuver the shell shocked Stevie through the crowd with the help from security. The rest of the band had arrived at some point during the fight. Clearly, rumors spread fast. Once they had gotten there however, they had quickly reached the same conclusion as Karen herself had reached as soon as she had exited the elevator to the sight of a crying Stevie running after a furious Lindsey: there was nothing they could do but watch the two of them hack it out.

She had truly thought there was nothing, absolutely nothing, about those two that could have surprised her anymore. Yesterday definitely proved her wrong. Observing the rest of the band, when not entranced by the drama unfolding in front of her, assured her she wasn't the only one. Once Lindsey finally stormed off, mouthed questions of 'Did you know?' were resoundedly answered 'no' by everyone. Any attempts to discuss it with her boss once back in her room had been met with silence, tears and eventually slammed doors. So much for not having any teenagers . She had made sure to take Stevie's phone with her when she left for the night. Sometimes, her job truly consisted of protecting her boss from herself.

An emergency meeting with the band had been held, Karen an obvious invite. No one could get a hold of either of the two main players in the current drama, and the only conclusion was that no one knew what the fuck to do, other than hope for the best. Hope they would both show the next night. She had known Stevie would show, as it by then looked like the only way to see Lindsey. He didn't answer any calls, and it was quickly discovered he had switched to another room. Probably another hotel as well, but there wasn't one person willing to tell them. Personally, Karen was glad. She couldn't see anything good coming out of Stevie seeking him out. Yet, almost every waking minute since they had learned they didn't know where he was, had been spent trying to find him. Well, trying to find him and fending off the media. Magazines, networks, blogs. It was relentless. A lot had been revealed that night. Too much. Love child, lies and secret affairs. She got why they were so interested. She herself usually loved shit like this. But only on her TV-screen and guilty pleasure books. Or with other celebrities where some other poor assistant would have to deal with the mess. Not in her own fucking job. There had be an easier way to make a living than this she thought bitterly.

Stevie couldn't remember ever feeling so claustrophobic backstage before. Surrounded by people, half of them she couldn't remember having ever seen before. She tried to reach him, at least catch his eye. But if it wasn't Karen leading her astray, it was John suddenly sweeping Lindsey away or hordes of people, large as any ocean, separating them. At some point, they heard the crickets chirp. It was time. The crowd around them dissipated as usual right before the show. Each of their bandmates shot them worried looks before entering the stage, leaving them behind. She thought maybe he'd yell at her, but he didn't. He ignored her, staring straight ahead. True to his words, not that she wanted him to be. There was a faint smell of alcohol. She knew he didn't really drink anymore. Guess she shouldn't talk though, having had to down a few glasses of brandy herself before even making it out of her room. Reaching out to take his hand, she always did, he simply brushed it away and walked, leaving her to take the supposed triumphant walk onstage alone.

There was a distinct quietness surrounding them, despite the loudness of both voices and his guitar. The air between them charged and deflated at once. He made sure not to look at her for a second more than necessary, but seemed to be ignoring the other three as well. When it was time for Landslide, there was only one person she wanted to dedicate it to. Knowing him however, she knew there was a real chance he'd simply walk off stage if she did. Anyone else seemed pointless, there was no point pretending anything was ok. Everyone knew it wasn't. So for the first time in what she could remember, she decided to forego the introduction, giving him the sign to start playing immediately.

Finally done for the night, Karen grabbed her the second she stepped off stage and led her back to the dressing room.

"You have a message" she stated, eyes not meeting hers.

"Just the one?" She wasn't stupid. She knew there would be plenty of her less discreet friends who'd jump at the chance to get the scoop on her and Lindsey.

"Well, just the one I didn't delete" She shrugged and handed her the phone.

Curious, she listened, and soon heard it was from the man who had called her about her daughter. The final words burned themselves to her memory as soon as she heard them:

"She's changed her mind. Sorry miss Nicks. Truly."