stargazer // lawlorff

SEVEN

The doorbell rang, and I looked at Kian strangely. 

"Um?"

He looked at me like he too had no clue who it was. 

"Jc maybe?" I asked.

He shook his head. "He texted me apologizing for earlier and said that he was gonna stay the night in Dom's room and you could stay here."

I tensed up. Then who was it?

He gripped my arm as the doorbell rang again and again.

"You're just freaking out because of the movie," I reminded him. 

He gulped and nodded. He grabbed his keys and held them behind his back just in case something was to go wrong. I was weirded out about how cautious he felt like he needed to be, even with the movie, he shouldn't be that scared if he really likes watching horror movies. 

He opened the door slowly and a guy stood in the doorframe, carrying a pizza box. Kian shoved the keys in his pocket and took the pizza from his hands.

"We didn't order pizza," Kian said. 

The pizza guy laughed. "Aren't you Jc Caylen? He ordered a pizza for this room." 

Kian nodded. "Right, he's my roommate. He'll be back soon with the money. Uh, you know what, how much?" 

"He called and said that he would come back to the store tomorrow and pay." 

Kian raised his eyebrows and looked at me. "Alright, well, thanks." 

The pizza man left and Kian kicked the door shut. He set the pizza on my lap and sat next to me. 

"Well, Jc ordered us pizza," he smiled, opening the box to reveal a gigantic hawaiian pizza in a heart shape. 

I laughed and Kian smirked. "Look at the motherfucking pepperoni. It spells K+S. They're onto us." 

"Kian and Sammm, sittin in a tree..." I sung. 

"K-I-SS-ING!" He spelled, and then leaned in to kiss me slowly. 

I smiled as he kissed me and he broke off, and shoved a slice pizza down his throat. 

"Sexy," I sarcastically remarked.

"You know it baby!" he laughed, mouth full still. 

He finished off the crust and then proceeded to begin his next piece. "Aren't you gonna eat any?" He said. 

I looked down at my ribs poking through my shirt. They were barely visible, but not enough. 

I shook my head. "I ate a big lunch," I lied. 

He cocked his head and clenched his jaw. "Really? You're gonna lie to me? Sam I was there. You hardly ate anything." 

He placed a hand on my thigh and I shuddered. I hated him touching me there, I was so fat. Way too fat for him, he was as skinny as a twig!

"Sam. You said you were going to try." 

I sighed deeply. "I already ate today!" I snapped. He stared at me with sad eyes and then pushed out the side of his cheek with his tongue. Instead of leaving, the immediate response that many seem to have with me, he instead hugged me. I was surprised. Everyone leaves me. Everyone hates me. 

Except Kian, apparently. 

He rubbed my back slowly. "Kian?" I asked.

He pulled away, threw the box closed and tossed it aside, and pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled the whole middle school dance position with my arms. 

"Yes?" he raised an eyebrow. 

"Why do you like me?" I asked. 

He rolled his eyes. "Why wouldn't I? Seriously, Sammy. I can't think of a single reason why." 

I bit my lip. "I'm anorexic, Ki. That's sort of a deal breaker for most people." 

He frowned. "I'm not most people. We can work through it. I'm not scared to help you."

I rolled my eyes again. "You said yourself, you don't do commitment. Besides, you don't know how to take care of me. I don't either." 

He sighed. "I...you're right. I've never had an actual relationship before. The thing is, I want to. With you." 

I blushed. "And, I do know how to take care of this. My sister...she was bulimic. She was doing so well, improving and eating on full guard. And then, one day.. she threw up blood. Not even on purpose. Her issue caused parts of her throat to gradually break apart, and it killed her. She died in the hospital four days after the blood. I can't let that happen to you. I won't let that happen to you." 

I nearly cried. I could feel my eyes well up, and Kian pulled me so close on his lap our stomachs touched, probably because I'm so fucking fat.  He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. 

He pulled off his shirt and smirked, throwing it on the ground immediately. He was so skinny, yet had amazing abs, and I was so envious.

I frowned and kept staring at them, and I supposed I looked thirsty as hell, but he was the one who decided to start stripping right away. 

"I...I can't." I begged. 

He reached for his shirt. "Yeah, I understand. It's too early, I know. I'm sorry." 

I rested my head on his collarbone. His beautiful prominent collarbone I wanted so terribly. Why wasn't I as skinny as him?

"It's not like I don't want to. I mean, damn just look at you!" I said. He laughed. 

"Then what?" 

I gulped. "I have...something I haven't told you."