Chemistry

Chapter 14

I got the clothes I needed.  I only cried in three of the seven stores.

I especially cried when I saw a purple T-shirt, like the one Tadashi tried on at the monastery.

But now, standing in front of the closet, getting ready for his funeral, I have no tears.

I get dressed slowly, waiting for the tears, but I am so dried out that none will come.

I call Wasabi.

"Hey, can you give me a ride?"

"Yeah.  Be right over."

We ride silently to the tiny temple near the cemetery.

There are three parts. It's all small, so we got in the temple for a ceremony where we light candles to put by his picture.

I add a prayer to my candle as I place it. And a goodbye.

Then, we go out into the cemetery itself.

The rain starts. One by one, black umbrellas go up. The whole world is black, mourning.

We stand around the stone as the preacher does his thing.

It's just a plaque. There's nothing to bury.

Then Wasabi joins the caravan to the Happy Cat Cafe.

Aunt Cass makes tea, and I go over to get a cup.

I steer clear of the lemongrass, and get Earl Grey. I won't sleep tonight anyway.

We help comfort Cass.

I only lost a good friend.  She lost her nephew.

But he was more than just a good friend.  He was my boyfriend.  He was the receiver of my first kiss.  He was...Tadashi.

I go over and touch Wasabi's shoulder.  "Can you take me home?"

He nods.

I go and say goodbye to Aunt Cass.  She gives me a big hug and it was all I can do not to cry on her.

Wasabi drives me home, a sniffling girl barely controlling her tears.

He takes me up to my door and stands there as I unlock it.

I hug him. "Thank you, Wasabi."

He hugs me back. "I know this is hard, but the gang and I are here if you need anything? Okay?"

"Yeah," I say.

I take off the funeral clothes and put on pajamas. Then I lay down on the bed, without enough will to move.

I remember something I read saying that one of the stages of grief was anger, and, a few days later, I reach that stage.

I pace around my room.

"Tadashi, why did you have to be so heroic? Couldn't you have just gotten to a safe distance? Tadashi! You are a robotics genius! You should have ran to the barrier! How do you think I feel? Loosing my boyfriend. And Hiro! Loosing his brother!"

A wave of guilt washes over me. I never really considered how Hiro must be feeling.

I look at my phone. Tadashi had put Hiro's FaceTime into my phone. We could all FaceTime him.

I pick up the paper Wasabi gave me and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Honey Lemon."

"Hello."

"Get the whole crew together."

"Why?"

"I think we should talk to Hiro."

"Okay. Bye!"

"Bye."

I throw on some clothes.

Tadashi is not here physically.

But he is in my heart.