This is the story that no one wants to read.....
Listen to my words...they're words you can heed
I feel that I can't trust anyone with my heart.....
Everytime I give my heart to someone they either break it or mold it to become something else that tears every one ik and love apart....
Im a monster ....I dont deserve to live my life....
God must have planned for me to go through hell when he made me....and it is hell....
I try and try and try to kill my self...but every time I do my thoughts go somewhere else...and I shake ....
But this time I wont shake....I wont shiver and I wont feel bad for myself....because the damage I've done to others is permanent...and its all my fault.....
First
I make the worst decision possible
Then I aggravate my second. Fam....and get them to do things they wish they didn't do...but it happens .....
Then In camp I get teased and bullied and embarrassed.....and it changes who I am......
Most dont kno who I am anymore...because of HIM.....
HIM. .
The person who some what changed my life and turned me into the monster I am now... .
Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living....because my life isnt all sunshine and rainbows.....its fire and rocks.....
And my attitude is some thing that gets on everyone's nerves....
Jesus plz take the wheel from me and drive me to another place where I get to see my grandma once again..... ..she knows just what to say and just what to do in times like this...but SURPRISINGLY jesus cant help me this time....
There is no one that can talk me out of my next decision....I Will end my life....and then I'll see who'll miss me when im gone.....and ill have my ashes sprinkled over the Apollo stage...to remind ppl that I made it there to...the Apollo.....however it wasn't just me. ..it was team flawless....
However...now ill pray.....
Dear lord
I wish you could save me...as one of your children....as a child of god...
To grant me and wish me the best of luck on my future journeys....and to make sure to save a bed for me ....next to my grandmother.. .im coming soon jesus...I can feel it. ....
But for now do me a favor and don't feel srry for me....
I dont deserve your compasion....... so as I hold the razor in my hand...and cut within my skin....I wipe away all my problems and my tears and my fears...
As the blood ... dripps from my deep cut to the floor I feel as if my work is done...but it isn't...I have to damage more and more until im gone......
Look at what you've done to me ....youve made me distributive and dangerous and another person inside a girls body....I dont feel like my self until...I fufill my duty to take away my life
DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN .....CAUSE NOW ITS MY ONLY OPTION.....
JESUS SAVE ME AS A CHILD OF God AND BLESS ME WITH THE STRENGTH OF A THOUSAND BULLS..TO FIGHT THIS BUT DONT DAMAGE ME
GOOD BYE.....
YOU ARE READING
My book of poems
Poetrythis is something that I decided to share...not because I had too ..but because I want to
