Illusion (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 3

Zayn's POV

"Zayn, you can stay at home as long as you wanted. You don't have to move out yet." My mum tried to tell me after I placed my last box I had packed over the last three days in my car. After hearing my parents comments about me, I felt like I needed to step up and move out. My mental illness is apparently a stress on my family, so I'm going to change that and move on with my life.

"Mum, it's okay if you want me to go. School starts in four weeks anyway and I already payed for the flat. There's no reason for me to just leave it empty. You can come with me to get my stuff settled in, but I already made up my mind." I told her after shutting the door to my car. I leaned against my car and looked at her so she knew I was serious about this. She gave me a sad look before pulling me into her arms. I kissed her cheek and pulled away from our embrace.

We both made an agreement to go in separate cars to London. She would take the girls in her car while I went by myself. My dad was at work, but I think he'll be fine that he can come home and his mental case won't be there. He knew I was packing over the last days, but I'm sure he didn't expect me to actually move out. Just before I started my car, there was a tap on the passenger side window. I looked over and saw Doniya standing there. She opened the door and slid in after I nodded for her to get in.

"I wanted to come with you. This will probably be the last time you'll be driving home for a while. I don't really blame you." She told me as I pulled away from the house I had grown up in. My eyes looked at the house next door that was empty and for sale. My heart thumped slowly in my chest at the memories of Niall. I shook my head and reminded myself that Niall wasn't actually dead, he wasn't actually a person at all.

"I'll come home before school starts just to see you girls, but I think I need a change for a while." I told her as I drove. She nodded and sighed.

Out of me and my little sisters, we have always been the closest. She's the one that would always talk to me first about things she was having a problem with. She just always trusted me and I trusted her just the same. Of course, when she came to me because she got her period I think that was where I drew the line. She drew the line with me when I borrowed her laptop and looked up gay porn. Other than that, we are both as close as always have been and nothing will change that.

It makes me feel like I'm abandoning my little sisters for my own selfishness, but I want them to live in a happy household too. Ever since I was diagnosed, my parents have been having petty arguments about who's fault this is. They really just fight about anything and it leads to me. I don't want the girls to have fighting parents as they grow up, so it's better I do this. At least that's what I've been telling myself so this is easier to move out.

It seems like everyone else is happy to leave home or to move out, but for me it's like I'm doing this because I have to. It's a chore for me to do because I'm a mess and didn't know it until now. I guess I've always thought when I moved out it would be under such happy terms. I would be getting ready for college, maybe even buying new things for my own flat and having a moving away party or something. Instead, I kind of got mad at what my dad said and packed for three days straight, only stopping to eat a little and to draw some pictures in my sketch book. Then I threw everything in my car and told my family I was leaving. Honestly, I think they all thought I was just doing crazy things and didn't question why I was going back and forth with boxes, so they were all a little shocked when I told them. Then came the hours of telling me to stop, but I made up my mind.

"Do you think you'll find a boyfriend while you're out here? Maybe bring him home for Christmas." Doniya asked me with a light chuckled. I took the exit off the freeway after having been driving for four hours just lost in my thoughts. This was the first time Doniya spoke up since we left Bradford.