The Dandere Girl (RinXLen)

Twist of Fate

Assume the negative, a smile that was once forgotten,
A broken heart, a broken mind filled with broken problems,
A woven happiness, a little dream I want to live in becomes a fantasy.
Open my ears and yours, their talking as if it is nothing,
Little do they know, she's a monochrome puppet,
Under an influence, she smiles like she doesn't know it's just a symphony.
Ah, rate me and put a price upon my smile,
Ah, make me feel like this isn't worth the while I'm forced to live.

There is nothing wrong, there is nothing right,
Can't I end this life of pure despair?
No I'm not alright, no I'm never fine,
I can't kill myself cause I'm too scared,
There is nothing wrong, there is nothing right,
Slit and cut and burn this life away,
No I'm not alright, no I'm never fine,
Deepening the pain, I'll have to finish off another day.

Assume reality, depression's just another trend,
Society is so damn eager to let their lives end,
I'm just fool, another fool who's living double lives, a friendship factory.
Open my ears and yours, nobody's there to tell the truth,
The media has made a monkey out of her youth,
To sell a lot, to give a lot, is nothing but the remains of a heartless industry.
Ah, why don't you go to become one of them?
Ah, I wonder how many lives they'll destroy until they're done.

There is nothing wrong, there is nothing right,
Stab me in the heart and pierce my brain,
No I'm not alright, no I'm never fine,
I can't find a reason for this pain,
There is nothing wrong, there is nothing right,
Drown and fall and suffocate away,
No I'm not alright, no I'm never fine,
Deepening the cuts, I'll have to finish off another day.

Ah, look at me, begging for somebody's help,
Laugh, laugh while you can and indulge in yourselves, until you're done.

There is nothing wrong, there is nothing right,
Running away, I left this town,
No I'm not alright, no I'm never fine,
Only to just stop and turn around,

There is nothing wrong, there is nothing right,
Pull the trigger now and let me free,
No I'm not alright, no I'm never fine,
Only I can let this happen to me-
And yes, I want to scream! Yes I want to cry!
No one wants to be by my side, ah!
No I'm not alright! I was never fine!
All I am to anybody is just a waste of time!

All I am is just a waste of time.

I yawned when I finished writing it down. Tomorrow on my absent day I'll work on the internet. I was finally able to sleep. Now that I wrote all that I felt on my songbook. I had no "Particular" dreams. I couldn't remember what it was about in the morning. I woke up with a tray of orange juice and mom's famous blueberry pancakes on my bed side. And Mikuo was there.

"W-What's this for?" I asked blushing. "I woke up early for this! Besides, I just wanted to see you smile," Mikuo said and I did smile kindly. I took a whiff of the food. It smelled like my mom's blueberry pancakes. And Rinto's homemade yet freshly squeezed orange juice. I was the only one in the family who can't cook. "Did mom and Rinto let you in?" I asked a stupid question. Of course Rinto let him in! Mikuo nodded and got a piece of pancake on the fork and held it up to my mouth. "I'm not a baby!" I said and crossed my arms pouting. Mikuo laughed and gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead as I blushed.

Mikuo sat on the right side of the bed and handed me the fork as I ate the piece of pancake smiling. "Hey what's this?" Mikuo asked and held a book with a plain black cover. That was my songbook. "H-Hey! Give it back!" I said and Mikuo shook his head and opened it. "STOP!! DON'T READ IT!" I pleaded and Mikuo smiled. But he didn't laugh. Then he turned a few pages after and his smile faded. Then he turned one more page. And his smile was completely gone. He must have read "Tokyo Teddy Bear" and "Abstract Nonsense".