Hate me to the Moon

Epilogue

"I  put a coin in. We're good." Louis whispered.

Harry nods and steps forward to take a small candle. He carefully transfers another candle's flame on his to light it up, and then chooses a spot to place it. He takes a step back and breathes in, still wondering what he could say.

Louis must see him struggle, because he slides his hand in his and squeezes gently in silence to remind him he's not by himself.

Harry had come up with the idea a few days ago.

They had moved in together after finding a new apartment in Harry and Niall's building, and Harry had been shushed as Louis prayed for only good things to happen and only good people to enter their home, to allow more happiness than misery, and to protect them from all Evil.

He had restarted going to church once in a while with Louis, who went regularly out of habit. He would sit and actually listen to words that he sometimes disagreed with, but that sometimes brought light on a matter he wasn't aware of.

He would always see a few people walk toward an hidden corner to light a candle. It could be a candle to help them go through the week, a candle to pray for a friend in need, a candle to thank God for their blessings, or a candle for a lost loved one.

Harry hadn't visited his mom in the cemetery since the funeral, always refusing to remember her as a stone and a bouquet of flowers. He also had never honoured her in any particular way, trying to avoid dealing with her absence over the years.

But then a priest explained to him that, of course he can't have the confirmation that his mother could hear him, of course it didn't change the fact that she's not here anymore, but lighting a candle and speaking with his heart as if she was listening was the best way to lift off a weight he had been carrying for eleven years.

He took one last deep breath before talking in his head. He tried to power through the initial hesitation, and found himself pouring his heart out as he spoke to Anne and felt the weight streaming down his cheeks with each word.

He told her about his studies, told her how he was achieving his dreams even though it seemed impossible sometimes.

He told her how he missed their days together when he was in Nice, and told her how she would have enjoyed the new menu at Le Méridien.

He also told her his dad had met someone, someone he really liked. He told her they were best friends and that she made him extremely happy. He also told her about Judith, the woman he was currently with that seemed lovely.

He asked her to forgive him for not talking to her all this time, forgive him for pretending nothing had happened, and for avoiding looking at the pictures in the frames in the old house. He asked her to forgive him for not always being the best son, and forgive him for having waited over a decade to finally accept that she's not going to be back.

And then he told her about Louis.

He told her how he had met this nice and funny person that treats him like a prince and always makes sure he's the happiest in a room. He told her how much he loved everything about him and how much he heals every part of him when he's around.

When he's done talking and feels like he's emptied a big part of what was going on in his head, he bowed slightly, and sniffled one last time before saying goodbye, promising he'd come back every week to visit her and light a candle to keep her updated.

They walk outside the church in silence, holding hands and bumping into each other as they walk the rather empty street.

"My mom said she met someone." Louis says first.