The auditorium smelt like sweat shart and unhappiness but, so did every assemlbly hall because all secondary schoolers did was sweat, shart and be unhappi.
Tallulah scanned the room, sussy baccaing out her competition. There was one in particular that caught her eye, and it was not because of her chocolate mocha ebony poo latte frappuchino dirt mahogany cocoa western coneflower acorn bronze copper umber sepia pinecone brown skin. It was the nunchucks she held in her hands, each spinning so wildly she was hovering off the ground ever so slightly.
"That's Shariza Topa- OOF." Talluah startled and punched the source of the unknown sound behind her right in the fanny. "Ow! What was that for!"
Tallulah blinked down at the girl on the floor beside her, she had a full her of thick, strawberry blonde hair an wide brown eyes. Eyes that were staring up at Tallulah like she was her sex pest rapist mother or something. "I- uh..I have tourettes."
"Oh! I'm sorry." The little white girl says, scrambling to her feet. "I'm Megan. I'm on the cheer team. Are you trying out?"
"Yeah i guess so, apparently I'll get expelled if i don't join a club and I'm currently living out a nightmare dystopia where I'm the main character of a ya novel- actually no if this was ya I'd be brunette and read- WAIT? Am I the antagonist?! Is that what you're writing me as? The blonde mean girl antagonist!?"
..........
"Oh fuck you."
"I um..."
"Anyway, I should be dead, and a baby, and dead, super dead. Anyway, what were you saying about the chocolate mocha ebony poo latte frappuchino dirt mahogany cocoa western coneflower acorn bronze copper umber sepia pinecone brown skinnedd girl?"
Megan blinked before a nervous smile spread across her face. "Shariza Tpaz. She used to be cheer captain but last year there was a tragic bycicle accident and three people died so she was evicted." She looked down, shaking her head solemly.
"Are those two things even related?" They didn't sound related.
"Of course they are! Shariza caused the bike accident. You see..."
A sepia tone filter fell over the world and Tallulah wished a news would fall over her neck.
(In a trans altantic noir film accent)
"They say she used to sparkle — in a cheap rhinestone kind of way— Shariza Topaz lit up a room like a molotov cocktail at a wedding." Megan started.
"Why on Monas earth are you talking like that?"
"Yeah," She nods her head solemnly. "I knew her. We all did. The Melinated mommy of UPP. Captain of the cheer squad, queen of triple somersaults and broken collarbones. She had legs for minutes and dreams for the psyche ward — but God help you if you got in the way of either.
It was the spring therm last year when the wheels finally came off — literally."
"Uh huh. You know i've watched my mummy die like six times?" Tallulah added.
"She called it "Operation: Pedal Glory." Said it was gonna revolutionize cheer stunts as we knew 'em. While the rest of us were trying not to get concussed doing round-offs, Shariza was out back greasing the gears on a secondhand Schwinn like it was the key to the promised land."
Tallulah blew out a breath. For all intents and purposes she was trapped in a cutscene now. A terrible cutscene, like a sillyfunvalley cutscene. Was there even cutscenes in that game? Tallulah didn't know she was low key born 5 chapters ago.
"I remember the meeting — the one where we tried to stop her. We begged and prayed like a possey of prebeaten slaves for her to see reason, to stop but...she didn't listen. Never did. See, Shariza wasn't like the rest of us. She wasn't cursed with the burden of humility or common sense or reasoning or intelligence or white privlidge or nice hair. She didn't even have a real power. Or well she did but...it wasn't like mine or yours."
YOU ARE READING
But I'm A Time Travelling Cheerleader!
AdventureHuh? What are we doing here? This isn't right at all, Tallulah is dead. And Lucas? THREECAS? But he doesn't even exist. This isn't right at all.... Tallulah Murphy is back in the official canon sequal to The Lives and Times of Tallulah Murphy, exce...
