Goodbye...
"No!" I cried squirming away from the doctor's grasps.
"Shhhh! It's okay!" My mom hushed.
I remember this event when i was 2 years old. My mom said the doctors needed my bone marrow for my sister. My sister has leukemia. I'm practically her bag of spare parts. I was 'genetically' made to save my sister.
But i'm not 2 years old anymore. I'm 18 and i have every right on the organs in my body. Not that i don't wanna save my sister, i love her to death but i think they're pushing me too much. Like my whole life's all about 'karen karen karen'.
I have a best friend who i secretly like, but was dating my sister. She gets everything. My family's attention, my supposed bestfriend, and the rights to my body. I don't complain, it's just that i envy her. Sometimes i think, if i had leukemia, would they treat me like they treat karen now?
My sister doesn't wanna die like what you see in the movies, she wants to live. But using MY body parts, that she objects. But sometimes my mom pushes it, convincing karen to let me sacrifice the body part. And WITHOUT my permission.
Since i was born, i've been poked, pricked and prodded with needles. Needles the size that people only see when they reach 60, i saw when i was a month old. My sister mattered so much to my mother, i was like a lab rat to her. My mother never cared for my well being. Like i said it's always been 'karen karen karen'
"Hey kristy!" Niall said jogging over to me. I smiled adjusting my book in my arms
"Hey!" I beamed. He stopped a few inches away from me. He smiled before nodding over to the gates gesturing that he would walk me home. Not for my safety, but to see karen.
Niall and karen loved each other since they saw each other. I felt my heart feel heavy in my chest that moment.
"Hi," i could remember niall say it timidly walking over to our room. His sister was next door, she had leukemia as well.
"Hello!" Karen said. She still had hair that reached up to her chin. She looks beautiful and i could see the spark in niall's eyes at that moment.
I could feel myself get attracted to niall at a short period of time. They talked and niall would come visit us, or mostly karen, when he stays with his sister. He and i got close and he would ask me for advice. Did you know how much that hurt to me? Niall asking me what MY dream date would be THEN giving it to my sister? But i was happy for her. She found love.
"Sooooo.... How's she?" Niall asked the usual question once they don't see each other for a maximum of 2 days
I sighed "she's fine. Coping" i replied shrugging my shoulders. Niall nods then kicks a pebble at the sidewalk
"That's.. Good. Kristy do you think you're sister could live?" Niall asked with hope in his beautiful blue eyes.
"Yeah, if i'm willing to give up my entire body" i said. My breathing became more heavy as i started feeling jealous
"But would you?" He asked holding onto my shoulders stopping me. He stared me deep in the eyes asking for an answer
"You're asking me, if i am willing to die for my sister?" I said disbelievingly. It's like my whole family never really cared 'bout what I want! It's always karen first before me right?! It always was!!
"She is your sister!" He convinced tightening his grip around my shoulders. I shrugged them off forcefully, tears at the brim of my eyes
"Sometimes i imagine what it's like of karen wasn't sick! Sometimes i wish we were just a normal family and karen isn't sick and sometimes i wish i wasn't even born!" I spat running along the sidewalk.
"Kris!" Niall called running after me. My heart was pounding. That was the reason i was here on earth in the first place, to save my sister. Not to have the life of a normal teenager.
"Kris!" Niall called once again. He caught up with me as my pace slowed down. He tried to envelope me in a hug but i pushed him off
"No! Just stop! For once can my life ACTUALLY matter?! For once! Just once!" I sobbed running over home.
******
"Kris.." Niall called from the other side of the door. I sighed shakily, hearing other voices on the other side of the door
"Baby she just needs time" that faint voice was karen's. i could hear shuffling indicating that niall was leaving, following karen's orders.
Karen, i envy her. If i actually had leukemia would niall love me? Would my parents do anything to keep me alive? Would my life actually matter? Niall listens to her, niall loves her, my mom does everything even killing her younger daughter just to save her. Me? I have nobody. Nobody to rely on when i'm sad. No one too wrapped up on karen to listen to my own problems.
Why? What did i do to make me deserve this life?
"Hon, food's ready!" My mom called. I wiped away the remaining tears on my red eyes before closing my scrapbook and walking downstairs. Karen was sitting on the sofa, tubes connected to her while niall fed her. I felt another pang of jealousy in my heart.
"Baby, here's your food." Mom said handing me the food. She was in a hurry so it clattered on the floor. Mom looked at me in disbelief
"Can you cook your own food? I have to feed karen" she requested turning her eyes back to karen
"That's okay. I'll just go out, by myself, in the dark, to get dinner" i said. I went upstairs to snatch some bills. I went downstairs and saw karen looking at me.
"I'm sorry" she mouthed. I nodded understandingly before going out the door. No one protested, no one cared.
I went to McDonald's to order my food going straight back home. Niall was asleep, his head on karen's stomach while karen caressed his head. I sighed feeling tears once again running up my room.
I sighed deeply scribbling something on my notebook in cursive lettering.
"I'm not loved"
__________________
Hello my oreos,
Well this is pretty long.., you're welcome
And first ever Niall fanfic what the heck?!??
I posted it once as a book, but since i was running out of ideas i had to delete it...
Based on 'my sister's keeper'. Heart warming movie (:
Vote if you like it (:
-Mrs.StylesOfficial xx (:
