Game Plan (COMPLETE)

19

"Saan ka na?" Ace asked, we were walking away from the field and towards her motorcycle.

"Baka sa UP. Pupuntahan ko 'yung open play."

"Puntahan mo ang open play o pupuntahan mo siya?" She was raising a brow at me.

I shrugged. "You know what."

"Alam ko namang hindi ka fan ng mga ganiyan. Kakatapos lang ng training tapos maglalaro ka para mapagod ulit?" She's right. Now I can feel my mood slowly going downhill. "Pero ikaw ang bahala, malaki ka na." 

"Uuwi ka na ba?" I asked her.

"Siguro, bakit?"

"Let's eat dinner. Gutom na ako." Mabilis siyang pumayag sa sinabi ko.

Both of us had limited pocket money, so we ended up at the nearest 7-Eleven, slumped over a small plastic table with a cup of noodles and a cold sandwich each.

I blew at my cup of noodles absentmindedly, stirring and stirring but barely eating. The silence between us grew heavy—too heavy to be explained away by tiredness.

Ace noticed.

"Oh, hala. Sige na. Magsalita ka na," she said, setting down her sandwich. "Makikinig lang ako."

I took a sip of water before finally letting the words slip out.

"I don't like it," I said. "I don't like that we can't even call this thing between us... anything. Gets mo?"

She just nodded, chewing slowly.

"For example, someone asks 'ano kayo?' and you wouldn't even know how to answer. Because we're not official. But we're not just friends, either."

"Akala ko ba you've made peace with it? Na okay ka na kahit walang label?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's hard to make peace with it when he's acting like there's something," I said, voice trembling slightly. "When in reality, there's nothing."

Ace stared at me, letting the silence sit between us.

"And he's great at making me feel special one day..." My voice faltered. "Then nothing the next."

"Putangina," Ace muttered under her breath, making me blink. "Ito kasi, Arrie, ha. He's showing you inconsistencies, pero you keep blinding yourself. Pinalalaki mo 'yung mga araw na okay siya, while ignoring the days he makes you feel invisible."

I looked down at my cup noodles, feeling the sting of her words... But she wasn't done.

"Dalawa lang 'yan. Either he really, really likes you—or he only likes you halfway. Imposible namang hindi ka gusto ni Ven. Pero kung talagang gusto ka niya, why is he not willing to dedicate enough of his time to pursue you?"

I nodded weakly.

"And nag-sorry na siya dati, di ba?" Ace pressed on. "He should have known better than to repeat his mistakes in a different font."

Every word hit me harder than the last.

It wasn't new to me.

It wasn't even unfair.

It was just the truth—spoken plainly, without mercy.

"At please lang," Ace added, voice softer now. "Mag-se-second year college na 'yon, Arrie. Hindi ba dapat by now, alam na niya kung ano ang gusto niya?"

I didn't answer... or more like I couldn't. I just sat there, the fluorescent lights above us, and my noodles in front of me going cold.

All the words I kept making excuses for, all the small hurts I tried to swallow—they suddenly felt louder, sharper, undeniable.

Maybe I had been too busy hoping that someday he would choose me properly... that I didn't even notice he was already showing me he wouldn't.

When she dropped me home, Dad was eating dinner alone at the table.

"Ngayon ka pa lang kakain, Dad?" I asked, dropping my football backpack by the door.

"Oo, nagpinaw ako ng labahin," he said, smiling tiredly.

Nilapag ko sa lamesa ang inuwi ko na siopao para sa kaniya. I wasn't hungry anymore, but I still sat down across from him, scrolling mindlessly through my phone.

I thought about telling him everything. About Ven. About how lost I was feeling because I failed a test. About... anything, really.

But I couldn't. I didn't want him to lose respect for his own player.

"Anak, may result na kaya sa La Salle?"

I was staring blankly at my phone—at Ven's last message that I still hadn't replied to—when I met dad's gaze. "Sa pagkakaalam ko, tomorrow ang release."

I gulped... even if I passed, I knew we wouldn't be able to afford it.

Later that night, lying in bed, my phone vibrated on the side table.

I didn't even bother checking.

Bukas na lang.

***

The next day felt like it came too soon.

While fixing my bag and slipping into my slides after training, Coach suddenly called out to me.

"Arrie, may sakit ka ba?"

I looked up, confused. "No po. Why?"

"Bawi ka bukas," he said simply. It took a few seconds for it to sink in.

Oh...

I wasn't at my best today. Not even close. And somehow... I knew exactly why.

Pati ba naman ang laro ko, maaapektuhan dahil sa kaniya?

I sighed heavily, pulling my bag over my shoulder. Ace walked quietly beside me toward the parking area.

"Wow, himala," she said, nudging me. I looked up—and there it was. Ven's car was parked nearby."Kaya mo na 'yan. Pero tandaan mo, wala akong binabawi sa lahat ng sinabi ko sa 'yo kahapon."

Then she left. 

Ven still got out of his car and still opened the door for me. He still grabbed my bag and put it in the backseat.

Maybe that was the only thing he was consistent in.

Inside the car, my heavy sigh filled the silence. I opened my mouth to speak—but he beat me to it.

"Why weren't you answering my messages? Or calls? I was worried." He spoke. Worried, huh? 

When he forgot to text me so many times before... when he left me hanging without checking if I got home safely... wala naman akong sinabi ah? Hindi ko na pinuna? Kasi ayaw ko nang makipagtalo.

And his tone... It wasn't warm and soft like before. It was just... tired.

Pagod na rin ba siya? Am I being too hard to deal with?

I pressed my lips together, forcing myself not to snap.

"Arrie," he said again, reaching out and grabbing my hand.

"What?" I asked, amazed that my voice didn't crack.

"We're good, right?"

I nodded and looked him straight in the eye. "Yeah."

And in that moment, I realized that... I hate lying. But somehow, lying to him had become the only way to keep him close.

One more time.

Last one.