Wings in the Dark

Chapter 33: Helpless

*Levi's POV*

The ride back to headquarters was faster than the ride out, and much quieter. Even though the cut at the back of her head had healed as soon as she'd been hit and she had come out of the crowd unscathed and without any major injuries sustained, she was still shaken by the experience, more than she was going to let on. Her gaze was fixed in the direction of their destination and her eyes were glazed over with a faraway look, her hands gripping the reins tight enough Levi wondered a few times if she was going to warp the leather, her shoulders tense as if stiffening to hold up whatever thoughts she had circling in her head that continued to weigh on her.

As much as he wanted to give her words of comfort to help get her out of her own head, he didn't exactly have any for her, and he had the feeling he needed to let her stew on what happened and think about the current food shortage crisis that was happening in the walls, how bad it was getting, and the roads they could take and outcomes stretching before them.

The situation they'd left behind was not a good one, and he wouldn't be surprised to hear about a few casualties if a report crossed his desk about the outcome of the mob that had been whipped into action back there. Outrage and conflicts like that were just going to keep happening, too, as long as the food shortage situation continued to decline, and the Scouts were an unfortunately easy target for people to direct some of their frustrations onto. They especially were while the nobility and merchants and everyone else they needed to have support from in order to go outside the walls continued to withhold that support and kept the Scouts stagnant inside Rose.

Erwin had been trying to get enough people to shift support back to the Scouts to allow them back beyond the walls, but people were still too scared, the situation in the walls too tenuous, the government trying to keep all the military on hand just in case there was a revolt or Titans appeared to break into the walls again. That last one they were finally starting to uneasily give way on, since it had been some time now since Wall Maria fell. Levi hadn't relinquished the mentality that Rose could be breached and fall any day–it kept him alert and kept him prepared to leap back into action if he was needed, but they needed the nobility and government to stop holding the Scouts back out of fear and let them do their job or they were going to become obsolete, especially in the current climate inside the walls. If the Scouts went, then all that would be left for humanity would be to wait for its eventual and in this situation imminent extinction. The Scouts needed to persist if humanity stood a chance. And yet, despite that bit of progress in the mentality of the upper class they needed to fund them–that they were starting to wind down from their initial panic that had kept the Scouts stagnant for so long–now Erwin had his hands full with this damn culling that was headed their way, one that would happen any day now if that riot that had broken out was anything to go by.

He had no good news or comforting words for her. It was only going to get worse–much, much worse, and she knew that. She didn't know the details like he did, but she knew now just how bad it was getting and was smart enough to know where it was headed. He could see it on her face that what they'd seen on that bullshit excuse of a trip to cover their actual intentions had opened her eyes to what was going on. She wasn't stupid, and he knew she knew the situation had been getting continuously worse, but she didn't need to eat, and she'd been preoccupied with all of her recent vampire drama, as well as separated from the worst of it since she'd stopped her refugee visits while handling everything else. She also wasn't getting the reports that Levi and Erwin did. So this had been a wake up call for just how bad things were getting.

Perhaps the official trip hadn't been all bullshit, but an intentional maneuver on Erwin's part, meant to prepare her to take the news they were undoubtedly going to have to deliver soon a bit better than if they dropped it on her without her seeing firsthand just how ugly the situation was becoming. It was already a horrible shitshow, but knowing why, being able to see what was happening and how bad it was...didn't make how horrible it was any better, but still brought some understanding of why it now had to happen.