Wings in the Dark

Chapter 32: No Longer Innocent

AN:  And here we are--the very start of this chapter was the last one that I had sitting in my google drives. After the first scene of this chapter, you're getting what I've been writing since I flashbanged you guys with chapter 30 lol.

Please, please, please review and feedback guys, I love you all, the whiplash of going from 30 comments on chapter 30 to 4 comments on chapter 31 was wild, and I would really like the feedback just to make sure I'm back on track with the characters since it's been a while (Again) since I wrote them and I'm kicking off the rust.

Love you aaaalllllllllllllllll <3333333

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*Levi's POV*

Erwin had given the two of them a day to prepare before departing, a day to make sure any tasks that needed them at headquarters could either be finished or handed off to someone else. Levi spent most of that time making sure the squad was going to put in the work to remain in shape and ready for any potential trouble while he was gone, and closely going over the reports that crossed his desk from Erwin about the developing situation with the refugees. He didn't think he was going to be getting a date for the mass execution they were going to have to carry out in the day before they left, but he still looked, still followed every development, every step that brought them closer to the inevitable that was starting to weigh on him more and more. It hadn't even been announced or finalized yet, and he could already feel it looming over him like a smog.

Last night had been a much needed and welcome distraction. Even talking about Emery, having some of the harder discussions about the two of them, had been better than his thoughts lingering on this sickening insanity.

Though, it wasn't that insane, was it, when he understood perfectly what they were doing, and why, and he and those around him couldn't think of any other solutions that were a viable alternative to the incoming slaughter. Either they did something about the situation–with this being the only option anyone could see–or the situation would be solved in an even more bloody and violent way as tensions exploded and people started fighting over resources and inside the walls turned into every man for himself.

Didn't mean it didn't make him sick, didn't mean he didn't hate every second it was discussed or thought of as the situation developed and plans were being made, he could see some of the moves being made in preparation of what was about to happen...

He'd much rather be thinking about Y/N last night, of their kiss, of the feel of her fingers trailing down his chest, her palm over his heart or pressed against his abdomen, the depth of their kiss that had stolen his breath for the first few long moments, made him dizzy and restless and wanting. At least, before her position had come dangerously close to one that would have had him driven mad with the proximity, before a stab of anxiety at the thought of stumbling accidentally into more sexual waters when clear-headed he'd already decided he was not ready had made him pull back and speak up.

He had thoughts, that was undeniable. He'd already...touched himself while having thoughts of how tantalizing he found her how many times, now? And that hunger that started to burn inside them when they had the time to get particularly close, to be a bit more intimate than brief brushes and kisses, made it clear that he wanted more.

But thinking about actually doing it? Hell, he didn't think he'd even pictured her in his mind's eye unclothed–not yet, anyway. He wasn't quite there yet, and it stressed him out too much when he started to think about the potential of them having sex–

He wasn't ready. It felt good to know she wasn't, either, that he wasn't holding her back or making her wait or anything like that. He wanted to be closer to her when they had the time and privacy to do so, but the thought of being that close was still...too much, right now.