Wings in the Dark

Chapter 34: Voices in the Silence

AN:  Aaaahhhhh, I wanna put an actual content warning on this chapter, warnings for:  Blood/Gore, Violence, Mentions/Descriptions of Violent Death, Intentional/Planned Mass Casualty Event, Disassociation, Mental/Emotional Breakdown, Panic/Anxiety Attack, Severe Trauma

Also, not to panhandle for comments/feedback, but 34 and 35 has been a labor of love and frustration and pain that altogether turned out as 30,000 words before edits and was originally one chapter before I split it. Please, I love you all, please give feedback, I may actually cry if I hardly hear anything with how much time and effort, blood, sweat, and tears, has gone into these two chapters trying to get them JUST RIGHT.

Especially you guys over here on Wattpad, you have the power to give me my favorite comments--Inline comments, I love them so much, eat them up like good soup om nom nom--

Sorry for the weird, I've been fighting chapter 34 and 35 for I think a month now I'm a little funky coming out of the labor of love lol

And a side note/"Fun" fact for those who have seen Thunderbolts*, ah, I swear I wrote that last scene LONG before I went and watched Thunderbolts* O.o Pinky Promise. But the irony is not lost on me.

ACTUAL "Fun" Fact: Gasoline by Halsey and Far From Home by Five Finger Death Punch were my favorite songs to listen to writing this chapter <3 ;)

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*Reader's POV*

Two days had not been enough time, and passed by faster than you could process.

The Scouts had all already been briefed on their positions and duties on the first of the two days, giving them time to confirm, memorize, and prepare themselves. Those that had been selected to lead the three hundred thousand beyond the walls were admittedly given a wide berth by the others, no one quite sure how to talk to them and giving them the space they needed to process what they were going to be taking direct part in. During the briefing, you had caught plenty of pale faces wilt in relief when they were put at the rear of the three hundred thousand in the hopes and beliefs that they would have a better chance at surviving if they were at the back. When the names of the squads staying on the wall to cover a return were called, however, you'd also caught a few bitterly envious glances thrown the way of squads like Levi's, Hange's, and Miche's that were going to be spared the worst of the ugliness despite their skills.

Or rather, because of them.

It might have just been in your head, but you'd felt more stares on you than the others, unable to skip a mandatory debriefing of what was to come and having to sit through the whole thing and simply endure, to pretend you couldn't see or feel the other scouts staring you down for your apparent perfect health.

Levi didn't say a word when you followed hot on his heels back to his office and pretty much refused to leave until the late hours of the night, and returned before the sun could rise high enough in the sky for more than a handful of scouts to be moving about headquarters. That was enough to tell you it likely wasn't in your head, and he had noticed it, too.

The second day you spent helping with the preparations for the operation that you could do from the safety of headquarters, memorizing the different parts of this operation as a whole so you could follow what was going to be happening, doing equipment checks, repairs, and refills to make sure everything was in perfect condition, running messages for Levi to the other Squad Leaders, Section Commanders, and Erwin, helping make sure all the horses were in peak condition, whatever you could do to keep yourself too busy to think.