The Enigma of Romance: Sarina Matthews

chapter one: part five

disclaimer: There's a sex scene in this. I wrote this when I was like sixteen. I really don't know what made me think it was cute to have a sixteen year old getting coerced into sex by her twenty-six year old legal guardian.... Benefit of the doubt for dumb, young me, this chapter is supposed to show another manipulative side of Nathan. He used sexual intimacy to gain Sarina's trust and show her he loved her when in reality he's manipulating her. Please for the love of god, if you're underage do not let these grown adults in. They know what they are doing. They don't love you, they love how weak, naive, vulnerable, and malleable you are compared to them. No grown person should be in any intimate relationship with a minor and that's on period luv.

Part V: Him and Her

After I finished work, I arrived at an empty home. I locked the door and turned on the living room lights. I was alone again. Nathan was always busy at work at this time and then he didn't even come home until late. I don't remember when he started coming home later. It just sort of happened. Maybe I'll ask him. Not tonight, it would be too late and he'd probably be tired. Yeah, later. I decided to get my homework done. And then when I realised I didn't have actual work to do I walked back downstairs into the small kitchen to fix myself some lunch/dinner. From the looks of it, Nathan attempted to make lunch and failed to complete the actual task. He probably headed to Uncle Joe's. Uncle Joe is the owner of a small, run-down club on 123rd. It was mostly regulars there nowadays, and it was usually only popular on the rare weekends the entrance fee was free for attractive women. We weren't actually related but he was a close friend of my father. The few times I saw him when I was younger it became apparent that I was obligated to associate as many people as I could to an actual family. Anyways, it was only me tonight.

The sky was close to dusk but it was still its regular bright blue. I loved the sky. It was so beautiful. It has personality. One day it could be bright and sunny, perfect weather for the beach. And other days it could be gloomy and the sun wouldn't come out. It was real and different and it was everywhere. No matter where you go you look up you'll always see that sky. Everyone looks up at the same one. Same stars, same sun, same moon. It was uniform but still ever-changing. I comforted myself momentarily with the thought that Ryder looks at the same sky as I do. No, I shouldn't be thinking of him. He wasn't even my friend. He won't be. He'll get tired or annoyed with me sooner or later and forget about me. A sigh escaped my lips as I stopped looking through the window and turned the stove on high and started boiling water for some pasta.

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It was past dark and Nathan was most likely coming home soon. So I decided to start making him his dinner. When my parents were alive they always made pasta for dinner. You know, my parents weren't the best but I couldn't complain. I didn't know what it was but I always saw my father as some sort of hero. He wasn't much of a hero. In fact, he was more of an idiot who thought motorcycles were the safest thing in the world. I drained the pasta and put some on a plate for Nathan. But sometimes the way I remember him, how he'd kill all the spiders and change the light bulbs when they blew or check under my bed for monsters, might've given me the idea. Because I loved my dad. He was the greatest in the world. And I'd rather remember him for his good parts rather his bad ones. Like when he'd sing me lullabies every night and I'd sing along until I was too tired to open my mouth for anything other than a yawn and goodnight. 

It made me think of how long music actually had been a part of my life. Working for Bucky helped me through a lot. Maybe joining James' band could be a good thing. After all, I couldn't stack records for the rest of my life, no matter how happy Bucky may be doing it. But he owned the store. He could, and wanted, to work at that store for possibly the rest of his life. He and I had this joke that he was some immortal musical wizard. It would've been funny if it were true. He was a great man; I don't get many words in about it with Nathan. He won't let me say anything about work. He says he doesn't like me alone working like that. 'I'm already letting you work there, I don't want you talking so much about it' he says. He doesn't know how-