alters

27

HARRY watches me with wary eyes, cold fingers gripping the wooden chairʼs back adjacent to him. He doesnʼt budge an inch; possibly afraid of moving too suddenly and frightening me away, as if I were a wild deer roaming the woods he so often kills in. Mangled breaths pry themselves from his delicate lips, still softly stained with the stench of ash and smoke. I stare in utter disbelief, complete horror, and uncontainable joy. What has this man done to me?

He is the first to speak: ʻʻAlice...I...I have done something that I canʼt take back...ʼʼ His shaky voice barely touches above a broken whisper, leaking out from his weary structure. I can sense the warm, wet tears building beneath my irises.

When I fail to supply a response, he swallows saliva, flicking his eyes up to meet mine. Then he slowly, ever so slowly, begins to carefully gravitate towards me, hand outstretched. ʻʻI...I donʼt have much time,ʼʼ He breathes hesitantly. ʻʻTheyʼll come for me...I need to leave now,ʼʼ He pauses, glances down at my hand. ʻʻWe need to leave now.ʼʼ

The shock of his ice cold fingertips brushing against mine is what snaps me into reality for the first time in a long time. I jerk away, this time allowing myself to cry in front of him unashamed, unafraid. I feel the drop slide in a crisp roll down the curve of my pale cheek, hiding in the crook of my nose, and slipping into the groove of my lips. I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut. I want him to be gone, I want to never see him again. He is toxic and poison, and I had just finally decided to remove those things from my life when he came barging into it.

ʻʻAlice...come on baby, come on, l-letʼs go, okay? Iʼll help you pack---ʼʼ

ʻʻNo, Harry.ʼʼ I feel every emotion that has ever been bottled up inside me starting to break the binding of glass, start to leak from the cracks.

He has the audacity to produce a somewhat genuine smile, he really tries to smile at me. ʻʻCome on, itʼs fine, love. I know it seems scary at first, but youʼll come to really like life on the road. Itʼs dangerous and exhilarating, but really fun---ʼʼ

ʻʻJust like you were?ʼʼ I say quietly, staring into those damn beautiful forest green eyes. Harry silences, tilting his head slightly. I swallow and look down again. ʻʻJust like you were when I first met you? Dangerous and exhilarating and fun; is that how itʼs always gonna be?ʼʼ

He pauses hesitantly, the placid look in his once so passionate eyes screaming for me to continue, to tell him how I felt...how I feel about him, about this psychotic, troubled boy. I give him just that.

ʻʻI knew I should have stayed away, I knew I should have never forgiven you for killing my best friendーʼʼ

ʻʻHe meant nothing to you, Alice! Bloody nothing!ʼʼ The volume of his accented, raspy voice escalates quickly, I can finally sense the anger elevating in his core.

ʻʻThat gave you no right to fucking murder him, and right in front of me, Harry! When I was standing there, watching you. That just proved right then and there that you have no heart.ʼʼ My voice cracks uncontrollably, my throat dry and in pain.

ʻʻYou told me you understood, Alice,ʼʼ Harry breathes out, choosing to stare directly at the wooden floor beneath his feet. He clenches his fists. ʻʻYou told me you knew why I did these things. You told me it didnʼt matter!ʼʼ He shouts.

ʻʻDonʼt you dareーʼʼ

ʻʻYouʼre a liar, Alice. Youʼre a Goddamn liar and a manipulator and a deceiver. You know how I feel about you, and you just throw everything in my face to hurt me. Why? What does this accomplish!ʼʼ His shrill cry shakes the room like thunder, his arms thrown up in the air as if he were trying to summon lighting from the heavens.