Little Fire

Anjel's Introduction

For centuries I have roamed this Earth, a lost soul, unaccountable for my actions.  Bitter emotions surround my creation, having been thrown into this life with little regard to my effects, my future, or my own delirium.  That is of no importance now.  I realized what my maker was, and set forth on my own path.  I created a new life, my own world built on a foundation of egotism, indulgence, and a total disregard for humanity.

 I asphyxiated my losses with new pleasures.  I acted on impulse, allowing the guttural, raw instincts I had been gifted to take control of me.  I quickly learned to love my new life. The power was intoxicating, and I allowed it to consume my whole being.  I looked past the sentimentality of human life.  I would dispatch entire families without remorse.  I gave little thought to their mortality; they were there to serve a purpose and so was I…to shuffle off their mortal coil.  Their detachment meant I could feed.

Humans have a unique way of dying, you know.  I recall their initial fear, quickly followed by useless defenses and innate confusion.  “Oh how he looks like a human but…”  Once I latched onto their throats, their eyes would blaze with realization and I’d watch as those flames smoldered to ash as their rampant heartbeat faded to a single note.  I was always lulled by those last few thuds, agonizingly slow if it weren’t for my endless time.  I believed I gave them time for solitude in understanding, just before they fell into eternal sleep. That was my redemption. 

I scoffed at humans.  Their petty emotions and convoluted behaviors annoyed me.  At most, I would stalk and terrorize the interesting ones, catching a sip here and there, driving them insane.  Even those would eventually bore me and I would have to spare them their insanity by draining them completely.  Others of my kind fancy enslaving the weak and the beautiful for their own pleasure, the thought didn’t occur to me to take one for my own.   I am too estranged from people to develop any type of attachment to them; or so I thought.  Contumacious as I am, I haven’t even toyed with the idea of a partner of my own sort.  I am a loner.  Friendship is for personal benefit and I consider it disposable.  All of my dispositions were challenged in a brief moment two evenings ago. 

 I happened across her while stalking the cobblestone streets for some innocuous morsel to drain. My heart grew cumbersome with each passing hour.  Dawn was encroaching; the people were tucked away in places I didn’t want to go.  I wasn’t looking for a thrill, just a quick bite, and a refresher to tide me over.  The evening air hung stagnant with the impending fog.  It was much too late for her to be alone.

 She stood below the sodium lamps in a defensive position, as if she was aware of her predicament.  Her delicate arms tugged at her insufficient jacket.  I heard her shiver, clearly viewed her dainty frame convulse in the wind, but I could feel her body’s warmth.  Something I haven’t noticed in decades.  I only noticed a human's heat once their fevered blood hit my lips.  I had grown immune to everything human. She was different; it caught me off guard, so I stopped breathing. While observing her there, a metallic rattle above us caught her attention, raising her fragile face in my direction.  She didn’t realize we locked eyes for milliseconds, though I glimpsed every minute detail.  Moving too fast for her eyes to perceive, I took to the ominous shadows surrounding the amber orbs.  Strangely, she held her gaze.  Her eyes were bold; they captured me with their intense curiosity. There was ferocity in them that I could not comprehend.  The still of the night exhausted her gaze.  I watched as she slumped her tiny frame against the wrought iron lamp post and stared at the ground.  I was enamored.  She was absolutely beautiful.

 Her face was then lost in an untended flow of hair.  The false light she stood under washed out the deep chestnut color, making it appear rusty.  Thin blue streaks were mingled with the long brown locks that shrouded her.  She looked deceptively young, so much so that I didn’t dare judge her age, for fear that I may be wrong.  My mind was entranced by her.  I trembled in spite of myself.  A rush of emotions entangled my body.  My stomach weakened as if to vomit.  I choked back the fire that rose in my throat. 

She stirred again, this time to check her phone.  The LCD inauspiciously lit up her face.  She briefly resembled one of my kind as her eyes sparkled amongst her whitened pallor.  An alarming thought occurred to me but before I could allow it to permeate my senses, she let out a frustrated sigh that nearly cost her life itself.  Her sweet breath mixed with her essence on the breeze, my body quickened; I nearly lost all restraint.  She started walking in my direction, so I scaled a path up the tenement that had given me cover.   I skimmed across the tin roof silently, jumped, and landed at the end of the block.  I relaxed against the corner of the brick building, waiting.  As she passed, she was tempted to look back at me.  I watched as she repeated her glances, quickly looking away each time, obviously in awe of my appearance. Little did she know of the awe that I held for her at that moment.  It caught me off guard, unprotected.  For a brief moment I felt human.  I was impaled by the agony of wanting more.

 Inhaling her scent so closely, I could distinguish each of the oils that clung to her body.  Her hair permeated almond oil, her neck, touched with lavender and patchouli.  She wore so little, but it created an aura in which she walked.  Her modesty aroused me. I felt the thrill of pursuit spread throughout my veins.  I waited briefly to delay her alarm, before following behind. At first, my footfalls were silent.  I remained slow to match her pace.  Her footsteps hastened.  I walked heavier.  She heard me, cautiously scoping me out.  I smiled when her eyes locked onto mine.  I believe she was nervous.  And why shouldn’t she be?  I wanted to toy with her.  I wanted to smell the aroma of her sweat as it rose from her skin out of fear.  She was beautiful and I wanted her.  In the splinter of time it took for me to surpass her pace and stand before her, I contemplated   exactly why I wanted her and what I planned to do with her. 

Stopping only steps ahead of her, smiling all too coyly, I heard her savage heartbeat; it assailed my ears.  The face that looked back at me was struck with terror.  I absolutely petrified her.  She was so tiny, so insignificant to my own size; obviously helpless to all that I was capable of.  She didn’t try to run; she just stared timidly at me.  A breath of frigid air ran between us, she instinctively toiled with her jacket, pulling it taught to expose her frailty.  She lost her balance in the wind, recessing our awkward stand-off.  I remained, fascinated by her confusion, her allure; all the while, my body raged to break her.  The unfathomable thoughts that I fought to control were getting the best of me.  Oh, how I wanted to seize her bare neck in my hands.  I wanted to feel her bones crush within my fingertips before my fangs protruded her supple flesh. She cleared her throat, as if to speak to me, emitting that sugary breath again.  I held fast to my position, though dying to pounce.  I’ve never, in nearly 3000 years, wanted so badly to feed; I was in anguish over this new sensation.  Primal urges coaxed me to take her, drain her in a frenzy right there, exposed amongst the spotlights that dotted the street.  All the while, a deeper, lost sense of yearning struck me, begging me not to kill the fragile human that stood before me.

 Still beaming with confidence behind my gracious smile, I moved to touch her face.  I wanted to feel the plasticity of it beneath my unchanging hand; even more, I wanted to watch as she would undoubtedly recoil from my bleak caress.  My intensity startled her, she stumbled, and I took hold of her arm. The move was crude; and she perceived it as violence, letting out a brief squeal.  The sound excited me further.  I was quickly losing control of myself.  I wasn’t even sure why I was trying to fight my own urges.  I wanted her, but I didn’t want that desire to be abruptly extinguished by my bite. She gasped deeply, drawing in the soggy air as her feeble human legs gave way beneath her.  One last glance she threw at me before those darkened eyes fluttered shut as she lost consciousness. 

For once, I was unsure of my situation.  She hung lifeless from my grasp, her insignificant forearm growing shades of purple beneath my fingertips.  I endured the weight of her entire body with no effort.  I crouched to cradle her body and relieve my grasp.  I thought of the pain she would experience when she woke, and somehow, I was ashamed of that bruised flesh.  In a simple twist of fate, I held in my arms, a magnificent creature that I knew almost nothing about, but thirsted for more than I have in centuries.  As dawn approached, I hastened to behold this moment; I knew I wouldn’t waste the opportunity, so I started running.  I tore through the alleys unaware of my surroundings, indifferent to those who may have thought they saw something.  Reaching the lair was more imperative than before, regardless of the hours before sunrise.  I was taking her home, to my lair, possibly even my coffin.  The idea possessed me.