The tightening in your stomach, from fear or excitement you couldn't be sure, the beating in your heart that made your rib age rattle and shake. The flushes of colour (of the red variety) that went to your face. You known Kise and had him as your lover for who-knows-how-long now? And yet you still felt the effects of the limerence that Kise and your heart seemed to coax you into as a joint effort.
You lived with him now after he insisted that he needed to protect and look after his doll at all times. You thought he was joking about that little term. But it turns out, he meant it literally. At first, you found it sweet that your boyfriend always bought you expensive brands and pouted and begged you to wear the Chanel No. 5 perfume he had bought you. Of course, you didn't understand the frightening intent behind it; he wanted you to be his personal doll, subject to whatever he deemed fit.
You had made the mistake of underestimating him. Thinking that he couldn't be cunning and malicious since he was so impulsive, love-struck and emotional. But you were wrong. So very wrong. Kise could be determined to achieve his goals and right now he had made it his goal to make you, his love, a pretty, little obedient doll.
Moving you in was the easy first step. After graduating Kaijo, you two were very steady and so when Kise brought up the proposition of you moving in, you readily agreed, excited for a blissful relationship with your boyfriend away from the prying eyes of parents and teachers. You even let him skip a step by asking if you could sleep in his bed, so you could cuddle with him at night. This warmed his heart and lit the match to continue moulding you.
The next step was to make you start obeying his every whim. At first, this started off as a little game to him and only became part of the grand master plan of making you his after he saw it was a good place to escalate from. Kise started off by subtly criticising what you were wearing, making you feel self conscious and unkempt. But he decided this made you refrain from wearing these clothes far too slowly.
So he began to outright tell you not to wear those clothes.
"That skirt is much too short, Y/Ncchi, why do want attention not from me? Do not wear that ever again."
"That top is too low cut. You look needy. Do not wear that ever again."
"Denim is so last season, do you want to be unfashionable, Y/Ncchi? Do not ever wear that again."
"Yellow is unflattering on you. Do not ever wear that ever again."
After he made you insecure, he cut off your support network. Friends? Distractions from schoolwork. Family? A way to make you homesick (Kise had dragged you to a whole other state to attend university). Schoolwork? Meaningless waste of money. Classes? You weren't to attend those.
Even being the lovesick Kise, he understood that he had escalated much too fast and that soon you would act out to let him know you did not like his controlling and possessive behaviour of you. So he had prepared what to do when that time came. That time certainly came and to your surprise, you were sympathetic to Kise. He spoke of how much he loved you and then you felt guilty as he spoke of everything he ever did for you.
And it wasn't too hard to convince you that what he did was best, because, it is so easy to believe what you want to hear.
In that disorientated state, he proceeded to crack the metaphorical whip on you. Every day, he broke you further, dragging you into the deep abyss of prisoners of love. You were too isolated, too in love with your high school sweetheart, to resist him. So you obeyed him mostly, and in those little slip ups, you listened to his didactic lectures on your wrongdoings.
He grew incredibly attached and fond of the new, submissive, you. He couldn't love you any more than he already did but you as his doll was certainly easier to manage. Since he had first taken a shower with you, he decided that it would be another one of his duties to wash you.
