Eva Marie

Chapter 7

All my life I've dealt nonstop from bullies. Whether it be friends, fake friends, strangers, kids in my school, racism, teachers, etc... I've been through it all.
I'm not even 16 and I've dealt with racism all my life. I'm hispanic. The world assumes I'm dirty and I'm illegal. It really hurts to be quite honest. I can't control who or what I am. And honestly I'm proud of my family.
I'm not even 16 and my bank started taking money from my bank account because they thought I was illegal since my last name is hispanic. I had to take time out of my life to prove to them of my citizenship. I get time after time from my friends "How are u hispanic??? You're so white!?!?". I'm hispanic, Spanish and yes I am white too.
I realize people don't think that they are being racist when in fact they are. This doesn't give them the right though. And when I point it out, I'm being too sensitive and I'm imagining it. Because lord help us all if someone fucking apologizes from their mistakes!!!
I've even gotten racism for me being white too. My first and only boyfriend's mom absolutely hated me because I'm white. I've been called a "white bitch" and a "witch" countless times and she went as far as to saying "That white bitch is crazy. All white people are crazy." Those words run through my mind everyday at least twice. It's kind of ironic that there's reverse racism now. But let me ask you this... Why do I get hate from my ancestors wrongdoings???
Now his mom has apologized many times but, then she says something else. I forgive her though. I don't hate her. I could never. I understand she was raised in a different time. And she's African American so she's been through so much more than me. I understand all of this.
I understand her reasoning but, I absolutely loved her son. I always give him my all and no matter what he's put me through I still love him. So, when I get hate out of no where it hurts so much. All I've ever wanted was her approval but, I could never get it because of the color of my skin.
Any Italian who knows their history knows that northern Italians and Sicilians sometimes don't get along. I'm both but I was raised by Sicilians. A few months ago I received racism from a Northern. He kept telling me that his family and him don't like Sicilians and then he called me crazy. So I snapped and I beat the crap out of him. I'm proud of that day. I will always be proud of that day. Even to today he's terrified of me. Good. Let him be. I'm done letting people bully me.