mad as rabbits - brendon urie

eleven

"American Apparel?"I asked pointing.

"Sure," Juliet said walking in with me, "Anyway, what are you going to do about Brendon?" She asked giving me just a certain little look.

"Ugh, I don't know. What if I just went for it?" I asked her. She gave me a puzzled look.

"Are you serious?" She asked blankly. "You're just going to go for him? You're not going to make him fight for you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

She still had a blank look on her face, like she was watching an uninteresting movie. "Like are you going to make him suffer for you? Or make him do something to be with you?"

I was so confused, "You mean like, in the movies?" I asked. "I don't get why I would do that, that's a little insane."

"I guess you're right, but when are you going to do it?"

"I don't know, maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day?"

"You can make him wait?" She suggested.

"What is wrong with you?" I said laughing, and walking around the clothing rack.

"I don't know, it'll make him want you more." She shrugged.

"Well he wanted to come shopping with us... I think he wants me kind of a lot." I said trying not to be cocky.

"Well go 'n get it." Juliet said shuffling her hands through the black clothing.

~~~

"We're home!" Juliet said walking into the door to see no one at the kitchen. We had only been shopping for an hour because none of the good stores were having any sales. We went to American Apparel and Topshop but that was mainly it.

"'Hello?" I called out into the void of my own home, "Where are you guys?" I called out once again. I heard something drop in the garage, "Oh shit," I muttered. They were probably in there, and I had let my book stay out on the shelf, they were probably messing around with my song lyrics.

So I dropped my bags and sprinted to the garage, "What are you guys doing?" I asked and yelled at the same time.

Spencer and Brendon were sitting on the bean bag on the band side of the garage, holding my notebook. "Oh hey Alice." Brendon said, turning pale.

"Put the book down." I ordered. "What are you guys doing?"

Brendon was speechless, so Spencer took over whatever he was going to say. "We knew you were a band, you know considering you performed in front of everyone. So we started looking for your instruments and we found you lyric book..."

"Spencer! Brendon! That has personal stuff in there!" I sighed violently, and covered my hands with my face.

"Sit down Alice." Brendon said softly. I sat down on the rug that I was standing on. "We've read through most of your lyrics." He paused, but I cut him off.

"You did not!" I yelled. Juliet came and sat down next to me, but she stayed silent.

"You're a very talented girl, and what happened with you and Spencer's mother is very difficult I know that. I've noticed in a lot of your songs you wrote them about her. About how she left you for her son, and how she didn't even care. We've noticed that you've written about living where you have before, we've noticed everything."

I cut him off once again. "You're meaning to tell me you read my personal book?" He began to speak but I kept on going, "You're meaning to tell me that my songs are no longer a surprise? That I can't perform them to you first, yet you already know all the words? That book isn't just a song book, it's a fucking diary, a journal if you must. You read everything, you read everything! Now I can't finally open up to you, now I can't show you what my true passion is because you had to think only for yourself! You just had to snoop through my personal business. Yes, that is what you just had to do." I stopped talking for a minute.

"Alice, we didn't mean to hurt you.." Spencer said trying to comfort me, which honestly was not working at this moment in time.

It felt like someone had just punched in the stomach and winded me. I knew it wasn't as big of a deal to them as it was to me, I knew that. But they didn't. It wasn't just a spiral bound note book, it wasn't just a diary, it wasn't just a journal. It was the whole seventeen years of my life written in one book. That was all the experiences, all the heart breaks, all the thoughts, and god... all the loves I've ever had. What hurt the most was the fact that I had even written about Brendon in that.

"And to think I even wanted to date you..." I said storming out.

"Uh oh," I heard Spencer say from behind me.